January 8, 2009

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 9)

"Wake up your a drama queen,
carry on like your supposed to be.
Get way, hurry up, come on.
Get away, gotta get up and go."
-Catastrophe: Forever The Sickest Kids



Nicole's POV


Now that I've gotten over the obstacle of telling Kel, Bee and Sheen, I couldn't get my mind to concentrate on anything else. My mind was consumed at all times worrying about my parents and their reaction. I was turning 18 and so I had to make my own decisions- if not now, then when? Exactly. However much I coaxed myself, I couldn't get myself to pick up the phone and call home. I wasn't afraid of their reactions. No. I already knew what their reaction would be. They would be angry and mad and would want to kill me for a little while. But that would be over soon. Hopefully. I had to tell someone. My mother. My mom would understand more than my dad. My dad would come to Baltimore and strangle Alex with his bare hands. I couldn't risk that. No. I wasn't going to tell them. I was so confused as to what I was supposed to do. I was sitting on my bed staring hard at the sheets, clutching my phone tightly in my hand. That's how Bee found me.

"Uhm...Nic, are you ok?" She asked me.

"Huh? Oh yeah...No. I don't know how to tell them!" I exclaimed. I might as well tell her that. She knew them, she knew how they would react. She knew why I was worried.

"Who? Your parents?" She asked.

"No. My monkey. Who the fuck else would I tell?" I snapped.

She giggled. "Ha. I know. My bad. You do know you have to tell them sometime! I mean, I'm sure they'll notice if you never come home."

"Yeah. Eventually." I said.

"Have you gone crazy?!" She said, sitting down across from me. "You have to tell them!"

"Dude. Have you met my parents!? Bad question. You have. But you know what they'll do! They'll freak!"

"Yeah, I know. But Nic...you have to do it. You're not coming back. You have to tell them." Bee said, stating the obvious.

"I know! I just...can't bring myself to do it."

"Do it now. Get it over with. They'll be mad, but they have to accept your decision. They have to." Bee said. I breathed in deeply.

"What if my dad picks up?" I whispered, deathly afraid of what I was about to do.

"Then you ask him to give the phone to your mom." Bee said, grabbing my phone from my hand. She looked at me. "Are you ready? It's now or never, Nic."

"Yes. No." I took a deep breath and sighed deeply. "Do I have to?!"

"Yes!" Bee said firmly, holding out the phone to me.

"Fine." I took the phone from her outstretched hand and fumbled to my phone list and found 'Home' and pressed send. I waited as the phone rang, my heart speeding up. I looked at Bee while the phone rang and she held my hand and smiled comfortingly. I think those 26 seconds lasted an eternity.

"Hello?" Finally, my mom answered the phone. I opened my mouth to speak, but chickened out last minute. I looked at Bee wide-eyed. She squeezed my hand and mouthed "TALK!"

"Hi mom." I said in a small voice.

"Hi sweetie." My mom said. "How're you?"

"I'm ok. I have something to tell you..." I said, quickly. It was better to get it over with quickly.

"What happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt? Did anything happen to the girls?" Her voice was coloured with panic.

"No!" Irritation flowed through me. It helped decrease my nervousness. "But...uhm...you're not going to like it."

"What happened? I'm sure it's fine." My mom said, her voice back to normal now that I had confirmed no one was hurt.

"Uhm...well...funny story. I don't know if I mentioned it to you...but I met Alex here in Baltimore."

"Ok. So?" My mom was not following along.

"Alex Gaskarth mom! Yes- that Alex!"

"Oh. That's lovely, hunnie. I'm so happy for you." My mom gushed.

"Mom. You don't understand. I didn't just meet him. I'm going out with him!" I took a deep breath.

There was a silence for 20 whole seconds before my mom spoke again.

"Wow...How did that happen?" She asked the dreaded question.

"Oh well...that's a long story. But uhm...he's asked me to be a merch girl." I said, quickly and hopefully, painlessly.

"A what?" My mother asked, confused.

"A merch girl. Someone who sells merch. You know- at concerts?" I confirmed.

"Oh. So wait...you're going on tour with them?" My mom asked. I think the idea that I wasn't coming home in a while was finally dawning on her.

"Uhm...yeah." I looked at Bee, who nodded encouragingly.

"Nicole, that's an extremely big decision. It concerns your future. Come back home. We'll discuss it." My mom said, sounding stern, but not worried.

"There's nothing to discuss. I said yes. Hear me out- Mom, I'm not going anywhere even after I come back. I would probably get a random job and that's it- done. At least this way, I have a sense of direction in my life."

"Nicole, this is not something you should've sprung on us like this. I'm sorry. You have to come home. We'll discuss it when you're back." My mother struggled to control me.

"Mom. I'm turning 18. In 5 days I'll legally be an adult. You can't tell me what to do anymore. I'm not 3. This is my decision. It's my life. I want to do this."

"Nicole...I...what will I tell daddy?" My mother's voice got less and less friendly.

"Oh sorry mom. That's your field. Just tell him I got a job and I'll be gone for a while or something."

"I can't lie to him! Nicole, I'm going to have to tell him the truth." My mom sounded nervous.

"Fine. But...he'll get mad. Oh well. I think it's time for him to let go. I'm not a little girl anymore." I said, gaining confidence now that I'd confessed. "Anyways. I have to go. I'll call you soon. Bye mom. Love you." I said, quickly.

"Bye hunnie. Take care. I'll...tell daddy I guess." My mom said.

I smiled before ending the call.

Bee looked at me and smiled back.

"Yay! Told you that you'd feel better once you did it." She said.

"Yeah." I grinned. That felt good. I felt like I hadn't truly enjoyed life the past week because of the weight of this secret. Now that it was over, I felt so much lighter.

I felt my phone vibrate against my leg. Looking at the caller id I smiled instantly. Bee saw the smile and left me to talk in private.

"Hey." I said into the phone.

"Hi!" Alex said.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I told my mom that I'm coming on tour with you!" I said, sounding ecstatic.

"And...? What'd she say?" He asked impatiently.

"She's ok with it!" I exclaimed.

"Wow. She's ok with you moving in with me?" Alex asked, kind of surprised.

"Oh...uh...yeah. I kinda left out that part."

"Are you serious?! Nic, when're you going to tell them?"

"What they don't know won't hurt them." I smiled cheekily.

----------------------------------------------------


Bee's POV

I sat here in a daze, confused beyond belief. On one hand, I really wanted to go to London. This is what I'd picked out for myself. A long, long time ago. And then came Zack- not that I was complaining. But he was making it so hard to make a decision. I mean, when you get something you've wanted for a really long time, you don't want to leave it. Exactly. I didn't want to leave. Long time ago, I had promised myself that I would put my happiness before all others. That's just the way the world works. Each person for themselves. I was getting way off-topic. Anyways. The thing is...I can't leave Zack. Or at least that's what I think. The last week was fast approaching. The concert is on the 21st and we're leaving on the 28th. Or at least, that's what the original plans were. I felt myself regretting everything I'd told Zack.

I thought back to what I'd said...

 

"NO! Please no. Don't say anything. I don't expect you to. It's not realistic Zack. Plus, I've got to go in a few weeks. I have a life I'm supposed to lead- in London. I've already accepted my education there. And plus- my parents would be horrified if I moved in with a guy before I was married. It just...doesn't happen in my culture. So, as tempting as the offer would be...I can't. So don't even ask yet. It would make me rethink everything and I don't want that."

 

But I did. I did want that.

I realized that now. I was half-hoping, in the darkest, most distant corner of my heart that I would get to stay like Nic too. But that just...wasn't realistic. Plus he wasn't ready either.

I can't leave him. I realized. This was getting way too difficult. I knew where this was going. I was getting so attached to him that leaving him would be almost impossible. I would cry a million tears and be gone from his life- and he would forget me. Now you see her...now you don't. I had to let go. Move on. The sooner I started, the better, right?

Somehow I brought myself to thinking that this was right. That he would forget me as soon as I was gone. That was ok though.

We're both in it for the memories. I reminded myself. It was not serious. We hadn't agreed on that part. I hadn't planned that part.

I think somewhere in this trip, the planning had gone askew.

I hadn't planned to fall in love...

Is that what it was?

Love?

Oh no...

What do I do now?

----------------------------------------------------


Kel's POV


I was shaken up by last week’s incident, but me and Robert were on quite a roll. We hung out every single day, were on the phone most of the time we weren't together and were just...generally happy. I could sit there for hours with him and just pretend like there was no care in the world. Which is saying a lot for me. I always had something on my mind. You know sometimes, you meet someone and you feel like you've known them your entire life? That's the way I felt with him. I felt like there was a connection or a bond that held us together. I felt like it was keeping me sane. While I sat here in Robert's living room, in his arms, staring at the movie playing on the screen my mind wandered. At home, high school awaited. Yeah, for me it was back to the petty issues and drama-filled gossip sessions. While Nicole headed out to live a dream of many who desired the life of fast paced movement and Sheena and Bee headed to London to complete an education that was far more fascinating than anything I was about to do because it was London I was stuck in high school. I would kill to be going away to university too. That way I would get Rob to myself for longer.

In a week, though, it would all come to an end. All this bliss. All this happiness- gone.

I looked at Robert.

"Rob...I think...we need to talk." I said, hesitantly.

"Are you breaking up with me, Kel?" He asked in mock seriousness

I giggled slightly. "Why yes. You're smelly and depressing. I just don't like you!" I smiled up at him. He grinned back.

"No...but I really think it's time we discuss what's going to happen to us...in a week." I swallowed and cleared my rapidly drying throat.

Robert nodded solemnly and sat across from me.

"Uhm...yeah. Well...I'm leaving in a week. So...but you already knew that. I just...yeah. What do you think is going to happen?" I blurted.

He held my hand and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Whatever you want, Kel."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my heart sinking. Was he actually thinking about breaking up? I quickly shook off his hand.

"Well...I think...whatever you want, I'll live with."

"But Rob...I don't want...wait. Back up. What do you want? Do you want to...break up?" I asked, worriedly.

"No! Kelly! NO! But if...that's what you want...a break or anything...then well...I guess...I don't know." Rob was stuttering and the more hesitant he was the faster my heart beat.

This shouldn't have been that hard. All he had to say was "No Kelly. Of course not! We'll make it work! You can graduate early and come to university with me!" Instead, this was turning down a dangerous path.

"But I don't want a break! I don't want to be away from you!" I sputtered.

"You don't?" He looked at me with a confused look on my face.

"Of course I don't! Why would I do that? What we have is amazing! I wouldn't just let go of that because I'm going back!" I said, slightly outrageously. "How could you think I'd be strong enough to do that?"

"I don't know. I was stupid. I know I could never do it. I can't be without you, Kel. I love you way too much for that."

I froze. He said those 3 words...

This changed so much. I couldn't fathom what he had just said. I looked into his eyes, searching for something I'd been looking for my entire life. And there it was- staring back at me.

"I...I love you too." I said back, emotion overwhelming me.

I hugged him tightly and we held on to each other as if our life depended on it.

I was wishing this day would never end.

"So I guess that means we're not breaking up." Rob said and I laughed because when you're in love, you smile and laugh at every little thing as hope blossoms inside you.

----------------------------------------------------


Sheen's POV


The chances of me getting to have my best friend come with me to England seemed pretty slim at the moment. I had the room all to myself- once again. Nic, Kelly and Bee were all out- with their respective boyfriends. What about me? I was sitting here in the hotel room, on the laptop. In the 2 weeks I had been here, I'd lost contact with the outside world.

"Whoa. There was a plane crash in Madrid 2 days ago." I talked out loud to myself.

It wasn't like there was no newspapers here in Baltimore, it was just that I'd been so busy having fun to keep in touch with reality. But it had finally caught up to me. The reality was that somewhere in the world children were dying of hunger, plane crashes were occurring and a war was being fought. Another reality was that I might be flying to London alone if my best friend decided to stay here in Baltimore with her boyfriend. I was trying to remain positive about the whole thing. I was glad she'd found Zack- of course I was. She was happy and I was happy that she was happy. But the negatives were weighing me down. If she didn't come with me, I would be living in a new city all alone- a city where no one knew me. I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous to live in a place like London. It just seems so rich in culture. It was like the entire city was built just for that purpose. To come and see and explore. I was ready for it. I was ready to dive into the real world. I was done being protected by boundaries set by parents who, although had my best intentions in mind, didn't really know what I wanted.

I wanted to see the world. And London seemed like a great start. Oxford University. How many people can say they studied there? I would be one of the lucky few who would tag my name along with the prestigious institution. I was looking forward to a whole new life. But without my best friend right beside me the whole thing seemed kind of daunting. However friendly London was to strangers, that's exactly what I was. A stranger in a new city. I couldn't do this alone. I really hoped Bee would stick with me for my sake. And for hers. Her parents would kill her. While I pondered over the issue in my mind I came to a conclusion. If Bee was indeed not coming with me to London, didn't I owe it to me and her to make our last week of being together in a long time worthwhile?

We couldn't be living together forever but I'd never contemplated that I would only get another week with her, possibly, before we went our separate directions.

That's it.

All Time Low’s concert was going to be flawless. I would make sure all the memories would be perfect. This was a trip I wanted to remember the rest of my life. During this entire time, the four of us hadn't really had any time all to ourselves. That was going to change. This last week, I would make sure we were all there for each other- before we each went a different direction- beginning a new life.

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Posted on 01/08/2009 5:49 PM Comments (1)

December 31, 2008

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 8)



Nicole's POV

It's time. For the past week I'd been battling with myself to tell them. It shouldn't be that hard, right? I mean, I love Alex and he asked me to move in with him. No big deal. It happens to other people, too! CM and Chintan knew I wasn't coming back. I had to tell them before they left for Toronto. There was a chance I wouldn't see them in a while, now. The weekend they were here was so fun! They met everyone from All Time Low. They weren't as excited as most people would be, but then again, their choice in music was questionable to me. CM and Chintan both reacted differently.

Chintan was hardly ever surprised at anything that happened around him. I swear the boy is like a robot or something- hardly ever shows emotion. When I told him, he just shrugged and smiled. CM on the other hand was kind of appalled that I would take the decision so quickly.

"Are you serious?! Nicole, you've been in this relationship for like...a week now! How can you just move in with him?!" He'd asked.

"I don't know. I trust him. And it's not like I'm moving in with him. Not really. He doesn't really live in a house most of the time. He's always on tour." I had said.

In the end, I'd convinced him. Really, it wasn't that hard. So...if CM and Chintan were easy to convince, you'd think I wouldn't have a problem telling Kelly, Sheena and Bee too, right?

Wrong.

Sheena was a fairly calm person, she would see eventually. But Kelly and Bee were ruled by emotions, they would freak out. And that's exactly what I was scared of. I decided to confront my fear. Worst case scenario- they'd be mad at me for a few days and then they'd have to forgive me. They just had to because I wasn't coming back with them. They wouldn't leave here without saying a proper bye.

"Kelly, Bee, Sheena. I wanted to say something." I said.

Sheena and Bee were sitting cross-legged on their bed watching TV and Kelly was getting ready to go on a date with Robert. I just realized Kelly goes out more than me and Alex do. Maybe, she wouldn't be so hard to convince. Bee put the TV on mute.

"Oh no. Don't do that. Put it up again. The silence just makes it harder to say." I was panicking. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"So...last week..." I paused. This was way too hard.

"Last week...?" Bee prompted.

"Well...last week...Alex...uhm...he asked me something." I continued. Geez. You have no idea how difficult that was.

"What'd he ask?" Kelly asked curiously.

"I'm getting there. This is difficult." I took another deep breath. "He asked if...He asked that I should move in with him and go on tour with them as their merch girl." I said really quickly without thinking too much.

I stared at their faces in anticipation. I watched their facial expressions change from curious and confused to surprised and appalled as it sunk in.

"Wait...don't be mad. He didn't force me. I said yes. I mean, you guys know how much I've wanted this. You know that. And I just couldn't pass it up. And I mean, I'm 18 now. I had no real plans for college or anything anyways. So...in a way, this is perfect!" I looked around.

"Have you gone crazy?!" Bee finally asked, still looking shocked. "Nic, you can't move in with him. You've only been going out for a week!"

"But why would he ask me to move in with him if he wasn't serious?? I'm sure he doesn't ask that of every girl! And he's asking me to go on tour with him! I'm sure he doesn't tell every girlfriend of his to come on tour with him!" I tried to convince her. The surprise was wearing off and suspicion took it's place.

"Nicole, have you given this much thought? This concerns your entire life." Kelly spoke up from the corner of the room. She walked towards me. "And why're you telling us this now? Why didn't you tell us before? A week ago?! Why didn't you tell us?!"

"I was scared." I admitted. "But I don't know why. I mean, it's not like it's a bad thing. People get asked to move in with people all the time, right? Why is this any different? Plus, it's not like I'm doing something wrong. This is a great opportunity for me. This is what I really wanted to do in the first place!"

"But Nic, you have so much life to live. Don't you think you're tying yourself down?" Sheena asked, finally.

"No. I've made up my mind. I really really want to do this. Really." I assured them. "Please, you guys. I'm 18. I love Alex. This is a wonderful opportunity. And this is what I want."

"Are you sure about this?" Kelly asked finally after a short, awkward silence.

"Very. More sure than I've ever been in my entire life. I want to do this more than anything."

"Well then, we can't really stop you. If you're sure..." Bee trailed off, still frowning, showing that she didn't really approve. "I have faith in your decision, I guess. I mean, it is your life."

Now it was my turn to be shocked. I'd never thought they'd give in so easily. But I guess I always knew, in the bottom of my heart, that my friends would stick by me no matter what!

I smiled and went and hugged each one of them. Now that that was over...I had only one more obstacle left. I had to tell my parents...Joy.

----------------------------------------------------


Kelly's POV


I was not in the mood to go out tonight, after the huge surprise Nicole had sprung on all of us, but I couldn't turn down Robert. He could tell something was wrong though.

"What's wrong? You're hardly talking..." He asked about 20 minutes into dinner.

"Oh...nothing. I mean...well, Nicole's decided that she's going to move in with Alex. He asked her to do that and come with them while they're on tour as their merch person. I mean...it just seems a little bit quick to me, you know. I don't want her to get hurt. But she says she's happy and she's sure this is what she wants. And in that case...as her best friend, I can't deny her happiness."

"Ah...but do you really think he would ask her to move in with him or go on tour with him if he didn't like her?" He asked.

"No...I guess not."

"Exactly. Guys have a problem settling down and committing anyways, so if he's willing to do that, I don't think you should really worry. Plus if this is something she's really sure of, then you should be supportive." Robert continued.

"Yeah...I guess so. Thanks Robert." I smiled and squeezed his hand.

The rest of the dinner went by pretty quickly and was uneventful for the most part. When it was over Robert decided to bring the car around to this side. It was chilly outside and I was cold.

"Stand right here. I'll bring the car around." He instructed.

I stood on the curb, rubbing my arms up and down in order to stay warmer. It was a bad idea to just venture out in a sweater. It was getting way too cold.

Winter's coming early this year. I thought to myself.

I felt like I was being watched. I began to jump at the smallest noises. There was a dumpster on the curb and there was a street dog rummaging through it. I stood still and listened to the eerie quiet around me. Suddenly, a guy crossed the street and came towards me. He looked me up and down. I crossed my arms protectively in front of me. I held on tightly to my phone and prepared myself to dial 911 should the need arise.

He nodded in greeting to me and I looked away.

Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. I chanted to myself. I looked around for Robert. Where was he?

"Hey." The stranger spoke. "Are you waiting here for someone?"

I nodded. Bad move. He took that as an invitation to step closer and continued talking.

"You been standing here for long? Maybe they left. Maybe I should give you a ride. What do you say?" He put his hand on my shoulder and stroked it suggestively and I shoved his hand away. I felt an adrenaline rush and I kneed him swiftly in the crotch and ran away, not looking back. I saw headlights approaching me and I looked right into them, squinting. It was Robert's car. I got in quickly and locked the door.

"Kelly, are you ok? You're shaking." He asked, concerned. As soon as he said that, I burst out crying. I was hysterical, I must've been a sight to see. I was bawling, rocking back and forth, replaying everything that just happened and everything that could’ve happened again and again in my head. Robert held me patiently, rubbing my back, soothingly, trying to comfort me.

When I finally regained some control, I whispered in a shaky voice. "I want to go home."

"But...are you ok? Tell me what happened." Robert said, sounding more concerned by the minute.

I told him about the strange guy in the alley. He looked menacing as he opened his car door. I grabbed his arm.

"NO! Don't leave me, please. Please don't leave me here alone." I all but shrieked.

He closed the door quickly and held onto me. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not letting anyone hurt you. C'mon. Let's get you back to the hotel."

"Wait. No. I don't want to go back to the hotel. I don't want to tell them yet!" I panicked.

"Shh. It's ok. Do you want to come over for a little while then?" He asked.

I nodded. He held my hand while he drove back to his apartment, making me feel safe.

I was safe.

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Bee's POV

I woke up the next morning, yawning. A good sign of what my night had been like. I hadn't been able to sleep all night. I had tried to keep the tossing and turning to the absolute minimum knowing that I would wake Sheen up. I had a strange feeling in my stomach that something weird was happening. I hated that feeling. Usually it meant nothing, and I was sure that it meant the same this time as well. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. When I came out I looked around at Kelly and Nic's bed. They were both fast asleep. Weird. I was never up before Kelly. Ever. I looked at the clock. Wow. It was 7:47 a.m. No wonder. Kelly had returned to the room at about 3:00 last night. I'm sure she was just tired from the night before. Suddenly, she thrashed wildly. She was having a nightmare, the poor girl. Before I could think of what to do, she sat up in her bed with a start.

"Kelly...are you ok?" I asked. She looked around the room for a bit as if trying to remember how she got here. I stood there, worried, not knowing what to do. Then she burst out crying.

"Oh my gosh." I ran to her side. "Kelly what happened??!" I shook Nicole. "Nic wake up! Kelly's crying." In all the commotion Nicole and Sheena both woke up. There was something seriously wrong.

After Kelly calmed down a little after all the crying she mumbled something about a nightmare.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Sheena asked.

"Yeah." Kelly wiped away her tears and attempted to put on a smile.

"No, Kel. Something's up. What happened?" Nicole asked.

"I'm...I...last night..." Kelly stuttered.

"What happened last night?" Nicole asked. "Did something happen with Robert?"

"No! After dinner I was standing outside, waiting for Robert to bring the car around and then this guy came up to me..." Her voice faded and she swallowed a few times before continuing. "He...he tried to touch me. But I kneed him in the crotch and ran away. It's just...there'd been so many signs and I ignored all of them. Those guys following us that night...guy in the video store window...Zorro...it was all him. I should've known..." Kelly started crying again. All of us looked at each other, confused as to what she was talking about, but we all hugged her, regardless. Sheena made her some tea and she was soon asleep. Kelly was so out of it, she really needed some rest. Nic looked mad and I knew what she was thinking.

"C'mon Nic, it's ok. It's over. We can't go after the guy anyways." I said.

"I know. It makes me so mad though. I'm supposed to protect her. She's here because of me."

"It's no one's fault. He was just a sick guy. And nothing happened." Sheena pointed out.

Nicole sighed. "I guess."

Just then my phone rang. I looked at the caller id and felt all my tension fade away at the sight of the name.

"Hey." I said as I picked up the phone.

"Did you know?!" Zack asked me, immediately getting to the point. He didn't sound mad but it was like he wanted to know something.

"Know what?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Never mind. We'll talk in person. Are you busy right now?" Why was he being so cryptic? I was confused but he had my curiosity going.

"Not really."

"K. Good. I'll be there in 20 minutes. See you then." He hung up the phone.

"Ok...bye." I looked and Nicole and Sheena confused.

"What happened?" Sheena asked.

"He says he wants to meet me. He'll be here in 20 minutes. He sounded...I don't know...not worked up, but not calm either. Oh no. What could that mean...?" I looked from Nicole's face to Sheena's. They had no clue either, from the looks of it.

"You'd better get ready. At least he doesn't sound mad. So I guess you shouldn't be that worried." Nic said.

"Ok..." I hurried through my shower, all the while pondering the reason he wanted to talk to me. What could he possibly be talking about?

I really don't need more tension. With Nicole's surprise and Kelly's almost-rape I have way too much on my mind to deal with more drama. Within half an hour we were seated across from each other at Starbucks.

There was a signature hot chocolate sitting on the table, but I wasn't drinking it. I was way too tense to be doing anything. I was wringing my hands in my lap and looking down at the table.

"Why do you look so worried?" Zack asked finally.

"Uhm...I don't know. Just tell me what you wanted to ask." I managed to say. The tension was getting way too much for me.

"Oh...Alex came up to the band this morning and announced that him and Nicole are moving in together and that she's coming with us on tour as the "merch girl." Zack said.

I just stared at him. "That's it?! That's what you were talking about?!" I breathed out in relief. "Geez. You had me so worried. I thought I did something wrong or that something major happened. God. You had me so worried. Yeah. She told us all yesterday."

"And...? What did you say?" Zack questioned.

"Well...at first, I was kind of sceptical and who wouldn't be? She's been with him for a week and he asks her to move in with him and come on tour with him? Exactly. But then she told us how this was what she really really wants and I guess if she's happy, that's all that counts." I said as I took a tiny sip of my hot chocolate, burning my tongue in the process.

"Hmm. Well he told us this morning. And I was kind of shocked. But well...we all already knew he'd fallen really hard for her, so I guess it shouldn't have come as that big of a shock, but it was a surprise nonetheless. But I was worried too..." Zack said, shyly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because...well...maybe now you'll expect the same thing or something..."

I sputtered on my drink and spilled some on the table and my lap. "Ouch. Hot!" I grabbed a few napkins and cleaned the mess.

He looked at me in amusement, but then turned serious again. "Well...do you? Expect me to? Because...well..."

"NO!" I interrupted him. "Please no. Don't say anything. I don't expect you to. It's not realistic Zack. Plus, I've got to go in a few weeks. I have a life I'm supposed to lead- in London. I've already accepted my education there. And plus- my parents would be horrified if I moved in with a guy before I was married. It just...doesn't happen in my culture. So, as tempting as the offer would be...I can't. So don't even ask yet. It would make me rethink everything and I don't want that."

Zack breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Good. Cuz I don't think I was ready for that big of a step anyways."

I smiled. "I'm happy for whatever we have right now."

"Me too." Zack smiled as he took my hand. "But...what about later?"

"We have 2 weeks till then. We'll come up with something." I smiled reassuringly at him.

He squeezed my hand. "We will. Because this is too good to give up."

----------------------------------------------------

Sheen's POV

I had found a really good friend in Baltimore. Ben, although terribly hyper and overly dramatic, was a good guy. I'd started to think of him as almost a friend. We had started off awkward, but by now I was very comfortable with him. He was a good guy. He could tell I was out of it today.

"Sheena, is something wrong? You can tell me." Ben asked.

"Well there's just been a lot going on." I'd never been the type to hide behind words, I just got straight to the point. "Like Nicole...she's not coming back. You know that guy she was with at the party? Alex? Yeah. He's in a band, and he's asked her to move in with him. And she's going to go on tour with him as the merch girl."

"Alex Gaskarth? Like...All Time Low?" Ben asked.

"Yup."

"Oh wow. That's amazing. I would jump on the chance, too. They're amazing."

"Yeah. I agree. I'm happy for her. This is what she wanted. But then Kelly. You remember her right?"

"Yeah."

"She had a run-in with this guy and he tried to well...take advantage of her. But she's safe now."

"Oh wow. Does she know who the guy was? Maybe you can report it."

"I don't think Kelly really wants to remember it."

"Yeah."

"And then there's Bee...she's so into her relationship with Zack. I mean, so much has changed. I don't know how she's going to leave him to come back with me to London after 2 weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if she decides to stay as well." I sighed. I meant every word of it. It really wouldn't be news to me if she did.

"No. I'm sure she wouldn't give up Oxford, London and freedom like that just for a relationship." Ben tried to assure me.

I laughed. "You really don't know Bee. She's very...passionate. She would do it. A person like me could never understand that. But...she's like that."

"What about you Sheena? You're definitely leaving?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely. I'm gone. I did not work my butt off to stay here. Oxford is where I'm headed for sure."

I thought about that. I had worked myself to the bone for this. I had big dreams. And in 2 weeks, it would all be happening. I couldn't wait. There was nothing really happening. There was a week till the All Time Low concert we were supposed to be going to, and the way it was going, we were probably going to be backstage during that. And then there was Nicole's birthday and then- poof- we were all going our separate ways. It made it seem so real in a way graduation never had. I just hoped my best friend would be there with me, no matter what.

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Posted on 12/31/2008 10:49 AM Comments (2)

December 22, 2008

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 7)

"this time everything
is gonna be alright
to give up every word
and change my life tonight
I'll change my life tonight"

-Disconnect: The Dangerous Summer



NICOLE'S POV


Kelly cornered me after.

"Nicole. Spill. What's going on?"

I pretended to act innocent. "What?"

Kelly gave me that look. "What were you going to tell us?"

"Oh. THAT! Nothing nothing. I just wanted to say...I was going out with Alex tonight...and that...I thought we should go shopping sooner. Or something. I don't know. I forgot." Even to my own ears the lie sounded lame. Kelly continued to stare me down. "I swear." Kelly gave me a look.

"You're sure, right?" Kelly finally asked.

"Yup." I said, looking into the mirror as I continued to put on my eyeliner to escape her scorching eyes.

"Cuz I want you to tell me if something major is going on."

My stomach clenched and I marvelled at how my best friend could see right through me. "Mhm." I nodded.

"Nic, Kelly hurry!" Bee chose this moment to interrupt- thank god. She came through the door of the bathroom. "Are you guys almost done? Alex is waiting downstairs, Nic. And Robert just called, Kelly. He'll be here in 10 minutes."

"K thanks." I stalked out of the bathroom and grabbed my sweater on the way out. "Bye. Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" I said, laughing, on my way out of the room. As I waited for the elevator, I thought about how to break it to them that I wasn't coming home. I mean...they would be understanding, right? This is what I had always wanted. They would be sad, but they would understand, eventually. Plus- Alex was right. My parents couldn't control my life. I had to fulfill my own dreams. And this was a dream come true. All rational thoughts fled from my head when I saw Alex. He came over to me and kissed me.

"You ready to party?" He asked me, excitedly. I smiled at his enthusiasm.

"Always." I laughed a little. As we headed out hand-in-hand, I let all tension leave my mind. I knew what I wanted. And that's all that mattered. I would deal with the rest later.

----------------------------------------------------

KELLYS POV

At the party, everyone but me was dressed up in interesting costumes. I felt everyone's stare as I entered the party with Robert. I looked down and blushed. The best I could was put on normal clothes and if anyone asked I could just pretend I was Bella Cullen.

Sure, it wasn't the most elaborate costume in the world, but hey! I tried! I decided to face the world. Who cared?! This was all I had. As if reading my thought, Robert squeezed my hand in encouragement. I looked at Robert and smiled tightly. We walked into the party.

"Hey there, inspirited people." A guy dressed as a mummy approached us.

"Shut up, man. I'm a vampire!" Robert said, good-naturedly as they bumped shoulders.

"And I'm Bella Cullen." I said defensively, crossing my arms in front of me.

He laughed. "Who's this spunky one?" He asked.

Robert laughed and punched him lightly on the arm while I glared at him. "I'm standing right here!" I commented. Robert laughed and put his arm around me. "This is Kelly. Kelly- this is Dan. I've known him since we were 7, and I beat him in hockey- don't let him tell you otherwise." Dan scowled.

"Did NOT!" He whined. "I tripped on my skates and let it go! We were 7!" I giggled a little. A Cleopatra showed up beside Dan. She greeted him and Robert and introduced herself to me.

"Hi. I'm Rachel." She smiled at me.

"Kelly." I smiled back at her. She seemed nice. I wondered if these were Robert's best friends. Dan hooked an arm through Rachel.

"Now that all the introductions have been made, we're off to serve the rest of the people. Toodles!" He steered Rachel away as she giggled and waved to us.

"They're nice." I commented and Robert laughed.

"Yes they are. Dan and Rachel have always been there for me. We're still trying to figure out how to get them to tell each other that they're in love with each other. But those two..." He shook his head. "They're impossible."

I smiled. "They'll figure it out. Have a little faith."

Faith. What a weird word. I mean, sure, religion was kind of like faith, but I meant faith as in hope. Hope- the thing that kept most people going through the toughest times. I had always been a positive person, but realistic. I knew when to draw back from something. I'd never seen the point of hoping for something that there was nothing to pin expectations on to other than hope itself. Whoa- deep. But that was before I met Robert. Now my rock to hold me down- my hope- it was love.

More introductions were made and I realized I wouldn't remember any of them before the night was over. It was best to enjoy the night with Robert. Robert was chatting with a bunch of guys and my eyes searched the room for something interesting. Suddenly, I felt a spooky sensation of someone's eyes on me. I turned around and there was this guy dressed as Zorro staring at me. I pointedly stared back, hoping he would take his eyes off me- and he did. He stared at something behind me. I turned around to inspect what he was looking at and found nothing strange. I turned around again, but by the time I did, Zorro was gone. I felt goose bumps rise on my arms and my heart sped up. I retreated to Robert's side and held onto his hand. Something about this felt wrong...

----------------------------------------------------

BEE'S POV

There was nothing in the world I would give this up for. This was where I wanted to be most in the world. We were sitting in a dark theatre, watching a movie. It was terrible. You know that feeling you get when you know the character is about to die? Yeah. I had that feeling. Ollie was going to die and he hadn't even told Jennifer he loved her. That sucked. He was crossing the street when he got hit and even though I knew it was coming, I still started. "No!" I whispered. I felt tears forming and my eyes blurred as a cliché, but sad nonetheless, death scene took place. Finally a tear spilled and I didn't bother wiping it away. I felt Zack's gaze on me.

"Are you ok?" He asked in a soft whisper. I just nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I attempted to stop the water flow but they continued to fall. Tears scared boys. I know that from experience.

C'mon Bee. Stop being such a cry baby! I told myself.

"You sure?" Zack asked, sounding concerned. Yeah. He was concerned about what he was going to do if I continued crying. I just nodded again and wiped the tears from my face. Geez. I was such a wuss! I cried for everything- even fictional storylines.

About an hour later we were standing outside in the main lobby of the theatre.

"What do you feel like eating?" Zack asked.

"Mmm...I don't know. Whatever. I don't really have anything specific in mind." I said.

"Ok." He led the way to the food court. "So are you ok?" Zack asked.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, confused.

"You were crying when that guy died."

"Oh." I fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well...it was sad!" I said in defense. "He didn't even get to say that he loved her!" I protested.

He pulled me closer and chuckled quietly. "You're so cute." He commented. I felt myself feeling kind of lost.

"What?" I asked.

"I called you cute. Did I say something wrong? Oh no. Are you one of those girls who hates being called cute? Well that's too bad cuz you are. You're-" I cut off his rant quickly by putting my hand over his mouth and laughed.

"No I'm just confused because I've never seen a guy so immune to tears. All the guys I've cried in front of get all uncomfortable and stuff." I said, quickly.

"I guess I'm different. Just like you and me." He said, shrugging when I released his mouth.

I thought about what he said. You and me.

Us.

Like us...

----------------------------------------------------

SHEEN'S POV

My Halloween is boring. Nothing to do. No where to go. On TV they were showing reruns of Halloween horror classics. I walked around the room 3 times, then sat down on the bed again. I then decided to call home. My mom picked up the phone on the 3rd ring.

"Hey mom. How're you?"

"Good. How're you Sheen? Enjoying yourself?" She asked.

"Good mom. Baltimore's fun."

"Good. I'm happy you're having fun."

"Where's Karan?" I asked.

"You know your brother. He's out with his friends for Halloween." My mom laughed. "How's Bee?"

"She's good. Enjoying herself, too." I answered. The conversation ran dry after that. She asked when I was coming home, even though I'd told her this before. She told me about her week at work and I summarized my days in Baltimore by saying "The city has beautiful lights. Our hotel is terrific. I'm having so much fun." I spared her the details about our daily activities which included parties, underage drinking, sex and boys. She would have a heart attack if she knew. I don't know why I called home in the first place.

"K, mom. Say hi to Kar and Dad for me. I have to go now. Bye."

"Bye. Have fun."

I turned my phone off after that and put it in the drawer. I climbed under the covers and watched a few movies. I was halfway through Scary Movie 3 (which isn't so scary) when the phone rang. I picked up.

"Good evening. You have a visitor." The reception told me.

"A visitor?" I asked, thoroughly confused. "Who is it?"

"Hi. Can I get the phone please? Thanks." I heard a male voice as the phone was handed to him.

"Hey Sheena! It's Ben." I groaned, inaudibly. "Where's your phone? Why's it turned off? Do you know how many times I've tried to call you?! Anyways. Not the point! I'm here to make your boring night totally interesting." Ben said, sounding overexcited.

Oh no! I thought.

"Hey Ben. Thanks and everything. But I don't think I'll be able to." I faked a cough. "I'm not feeling that great."

"Nonsense. You're coming. Get dressed and be down in 5 minutes. As your official tour guide I say that we can't miss the Halloween festivities. This is something you have to see." Ben sounded firm. I sighed.

"Gimme 10 minutes." I felt like I was betraying myself...but it's not like I had anything better to do anyways. I was bored. Plus Ben was fun- when he wasn't being awkward, that is. But I just realized, that Ben was probably over it- it was me who wasn't letting it go.

Let it go, Sheen. And you'll probably have a lot more fun! That's it.

My mind was made. I was finally down for some fun!

--------------------------
Posted on 12/22/2008 7:40 PM Comments (3)

December 3, 2008

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 6)

"I am finding out that maybe I was wrong

That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?"

-My Heart:Paramore

Nicole's POV

Alex's house was a MESS! He wasn't lying when he said that guys living together were a riot.

"Wow..." I exclaimed, looking all around the room.

"Uhm...yeah. It's kind of messy, but well...yes." He blushed. "Well this was a last minute decision..." He laughed. "Not that I regret it or anything." He added, quickly. I giggled as put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. He was leaning in to kiss me when my phone started to ring. I groaned when I looked at the caller id. It was my mom. I thought about how I'd been ignoring her calls, so I decided to pick it up.

"Hello!" I said into the phone. I held up 1 finger for Alex and mouthed "Give me a second."

"Hi, sweetie! How are you?!" Mom said into the phone.

"I'm ok. How are you?" I responded.

"We're ok. I've tried to reach you for so long, now. I even tried Bee but she's not picking up."

"Uh yeah. I was kind of...preoccupied. Bee's been busy, too. I think she's out." I said, blushing. I realized that I blush way too much, especially for a person who wasn't embarrassed easily. I thought back to all my "most embarrassing moments". They were such trivial things. All the real embarrassing stuff wasn't embarrassing for me. Like dancing on a busy street downtown, or talking openly about sex.

"Nicole?!" My mom said.

"Whoa, sorry! Zoned out there. What did you say?"

"I said are you having fun?" My mom asked.

"Nope. I'm miserable. I want to come back right this very instant!" I rolled my eyes. My mom was quiet.

"Well I just wanted to check on you and see how you're doing." My mom continued after a while.

"Mhmm...That’s great. K, mom, I have to go now. Bye. I love you." I said hastily.

"Love you too. Bye, honey. Have fun." My mom managed to fit in before I hung up. I looked at Alex. I hooked my arms around his neck, which took a little bit of effort- he was so tall!

"So...where were we?" I asked. He grinned as he kissed me. We were soon settled in the living room, on the couch, just sitting there.

"Alex. I don't want to go back." I sighed.

"Well...you don't have to." Alex said, cryptically as he held onto me.

"Yes, I do. In 3 weeks, we're leaving." I was confused. I had already told him this before.

"No!" His scorching eyes found mine. He flicked a piece of my hair and chuckled. "You can stay if you want. You're 18 now."

"Almost 18." I corrected him immediately. He pulled me closer to him.

"Close enough. Nic, you can stay. You don't have to leave." I considered what he was saying.

"So...you mean...I can stay here? In Baltimore?!" I said, catching on quickly. I frowned as a thought hit me. "Wait...but how?! Sheena, Kelly and Bee are leaving. And I can't stay in that hotel room forever!" I was confused again, because Alex was smiling at me like I should know what he was talking about.

"NICOLE! He exclaimed as he bounced on the couch like an overexcited puppy. "YOU CAN COME LIVE WITH ME! AND THEN YOU CAN COME TOUR WITH US! You can help sell merch!" I looked at him, scornfully.

"Uh huh. Sure. And then tampons will sprout wings and fly!" He pulled on a piece of my hair and pouted, but somehow he pulled off the look. I laughed. He made it very hard for me to be sarcastic around him. He stopped pouting and tickled me.

"Oh my gosh! NO! DON'T!" I squirmed and giggled while he tickled me. I reached for a pillow behind his head and whacked him over the head with it and burst out laughing at the surprised look on his face.

"Oh! IT'S ON!" He grabbed a pillow and smacked me on the arm. Soon we were collapsed on the couch, surrounded by feathers and breathing hard from all the hysterical screaming and laughter.

"So...what do you say? Come move in with me and tour with us...please?" Alex asked when we finally got back our breath.

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" I asked.

"Yup." He said as his arm snaked around my waist. "So...yes or no?" I though hard about this.

"I have to talk to Kelly, Bee and Sheena." His face fell. "Ok, so I lied. I was trying not to look too desperate. Yes." I smiled as he looked at me with shock etched on his face. That expression was quickly replaced with what I could only describe as ecstasy. He kissed me for a long time, until kissing wasn't all we were doing.

---------------------------------------------------

 Bee’s POV

 

 

I was sitting in a car, outside the hotel's main entrance, knowing that I needed to go in, but wanting every minute not to. I knew that every minute more I spent in the car, the more it would make me sad when I had to get out of it. So, following this theory (which I was well aware of) I should've gotten out of Zack's car, waved and gone inside, making my way upstairs and into my pyjamas and eventually bed where I would dream about Zack. But that's not how things actually went. My heart was paying no attention to my rational thoughts that were telling me that I was looking like a desperate fool. I glanced at the clock for what seemed like the millionth time. Me and Zack would never run out of things to talk about, it seemed. I mean, we'd been sitting in his car for 40 minutes straight- talking. I sighed. 

"Zack. I think that I should go now. It's getting pretty late. And you guys have a recording tomorrow, so I don't want to keep you." I finally pulled myself together and prepared myself for a bye.

Zack glanced at the dashboard clock, as well. "You're right." Zack said.

"UGH! I hate being the responsible one!" I sighed exasperated. I mean, why couldn't I just have a little more fun, a little more edge? He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"But you're right. I'll see you tomorrow, anyways."

"You will?!" I asked, confused. I thought back to conversations that had come up tonight, none of which had been anything like "Lunch date tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow's Halloween. There's a party, but I don't want to go. I just want to catch a movie and dinner with you."

"Sure." I smiled, knowing I would give my pinky toe (left foot) to be able to sit in a darkened theatre with Zack, so why even pretend like I wasn't available?

"How convenient. Ring 6 is coming out tomorrow!" Zack commented.

"No. No, no, no, no, NO! I'm not watching it. At all. I'm not walking into the theatre. Seriously. Stop laughing! I'm dead serious." I felt a panic attack coming on. He laughed and kissed the top of my head, again.

"I know. I was pulling your leg. I know you don't like scary movies." He pulled me closer and kissed me before he let go of my hand. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night. Thanks for today. I had an awesome time." He already knew I had an amazing time, but it seemed like something they said on TV a lot when they ended a date and I was hoping there was some magic in those words.

He smiled. "I did too." I waved to him and then sighed and walked into the hotel. I came crashing back to reality as soon as I walked in. The entire time I was with Zack, I felt this thrill- a feeling like we were alone in the world. That feeling had just ended. I yawned. Reality was making me awfully sleepy.

 

Kelly’s POV

 

 

Mornings were my forté. This was something I could deal well with. Mornings provided a new day, a new perspective, a fresh outlook. Today, I woke up with a weird sense of happiness washing over me. The first thing I remembered was Robert's face. I sighed happily. Looking around I realized that over the course of my life I had never truly believed that I could find someone like Robert. I smiled to myself and decided to kill time by watching TV on mute. The next hour was boring and I flipped through a bunch of random channels. I decided today would be the day we all hung out and relaxed together. At night, me and Robert were going out, but I was free all day. No distractions, no dates, just us four. Slowly, the other three awoke from their deep slumber. By midday, we were all seated on the bed.

"Kelly! Tell me about Robert!" Nicole said, almost immediately.

"Well...he just seems...perfect. He's just...yeah."

"Oh c'mon Kel! You can do better than that!" Nicole complained.

"Well...he's really sweet. And he's going to Brown University. And well...what else do you want to know? That's all there is, really." I blushed deeply.

"Aww Kelly! That's so cute." Bee said, smiling. "I'm glad you found someone."

"He sounds really sweet." Sheena agreed.

I nodded. "Yeah. He is." Nicole laughed.

"What? Why're you laughing?" Bee asked, confused.

"Nothing nothing." Nicole answered cryptically.

"Oh god! You're in one of your moods again." Bee said, sighing exasperatedly.

"What moods?" Nicole asked, incredulously.

"The one where you randomly start laughing and then don't tell anyone why you're laughing." Nicole started laughing again.

"Yeah! Just like that!" Bee pointed out. "Anyways, we're out of groceries. We have a lot to do."

"Oh relax, Bee! We'll go later. I...uh...wanted to tell you all something anyways...but...maybe later. Yeah. Later. So Kelly...tell us more!" Nicole stuttered.

I was curious. What did she want to say that was making her so uncomfortable?

 

Sheen’s POV

 

I wanted so badly to tell Bee about Ben but we kept talking about other things. We ended up off-topic, somehow, as always. I didn't want her to think I liked him. Before I could come up with a way to tell Bee about Ben, she brought it up herself.

"So Sheen, what about you and Ben?" Bee asked, with a note of interest in her voice.

I sighed. "Don't even ask! You know how I went out with him yesterday, well it wasn't even supposed to be like that. Basically, he asked me out and I didn't want to reject him on the phone, so I told him I would meet him at Starbucks. So I went. I told him I didn't like him that way and he was all "ok. But you have to let me be your tour guide". So I said ok. I mean, I felt guilty!" Bee nodded quickly, but Nicole shook her head.

"Nuh uh Sheena! They want to play with those emotions! You should've told him you were busy and that you would call him if you needed a guide."

"Yeah, but Nic, you can't expect her to say that to him right after she turned him down! I mean, it's rude!" Bee protested on my behalf.

"Yeah. I half-said it because I was glad he wasn't being super-clingy or anything." I said.

"Oh god. You guys actually have a conscience. I just remembered." Nicole said and we all laughed.

"Yeah Nic, you don't feel a thing when it comes to being rude to people." Kelly said.

"Only to the people who deserve it!" Nicole claimed. "Not the people I like."

"Mhmm. Sure sure. And exactly how many people do you like?" Kelly questioned.

Bee jumped in. "Speaking of people we like, CM and Chintan are coming up for the weekend."

"Whoa. Why?" Nicole questioned.

"Cuz...they want to?" Bee attempted to answer. I laughed. I'd only met CM and Chintan a few times before. They were shy and quiet, which is why I found it extremely odd that they were friends with Bee and Nicole who were as loud and rowdy as they came. Oh well. This weekend would be fun. Maybe I would finally have an excuse not to hang out with Ben for the weekend now. Now that is what you call a blessing in disguise!

----------------------------------------------------

Posted on 12/03/2008 6:11 PM Comments (10)

November 17, 2008

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 5)

"It's twelve o' clock and I need your attention
It's like the alcohol making my head spin
Your scent is the rum. the room is a bottle
Keeping me hopeless 'til I wake tomorrow"
-Vegas Skies: The Cab



Nicole's POV

I was eating popcorn, bored out of my mind. When Sheena had left, I flipped through channels and had finally settled on Fight Club, which I loved. I checked my phone and had 3 messages from my mom. I rolled my eyes. After that I'd checked my phone every 5 minutes. "A watched phone never rings." Bee once told me. She was so superstitious, it was funny at times. I sighed and put my phone on the bedside table and returned my eyes to the television. I was woken up 20 minutes later by the insanely loud ringing of my phone.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"Ayyo!" Someone said immediately. It was a voice I recognized.

"Alex?" I asked.

"Yupp." He replied. I perked up immediately, but I was still confused about something.

"How did you get my number?" I asked.

"You gave it to me last night." He said, sounding slightly confused.

"Oh...wow. I was so out of it last night." I said and he laughed.

"Yeah. You were so drunk. But then, so was I. What're you up to?"

"Nothing really. The others have decided to leave me to my misery." I smiled.

"Oh...how can they leave you alone in your condition?!" I smiled some more.

"Exactly! That's what I'm saying!" He laughed loudly. I blushed. I loved his laugh.

"Ok. I'll be there to put you out of your loneliness in about 20 minutes."

"Ok. See you in a few." When he hung up, I had a panic attack. He was coming here. To my hotel room! The room was a complete mess and so was I. I looked around me. I was in comfy pyjamas and my hair was mussed up from sleeping all day, probably. I looked around the bed; popcorn was littered all over it. The floor was jumbled with clothes from our suitcases. This hotel room looked trashed. I hurriedly got out of bed and shuffled several articles of clothing, trying to find something to wear. I couldn't decide on anything so I decided to clean up first. I shoved clothes into their respective suitcases. Next I dragged a straightner through my hair and brushed it. My heart was pounding from nervousness when the phone rang. Sure enough, when I picked up, it was the front desk.

"Good evening. You have a visitor." The receptionist informed me.

"Uh yes. Send him up." In all the rush to clean the room, I'd forgotten to change out of my pyjamas, I realized with horror when there was a knock on the door. What was I supposed to do now?! Well, at least my hair was straight. I cautiously opened the door. I poked my head out. Alex looked at me with amusement.

"Hello there, turtle. Wanna let me into your shell?" He grinned cheekily while I turned red.

"Uhm...I'm not exactly dressed properly." He laughed.

"That's ok." He said. I opened the door and he looked me up and down and burst out laughing. I glared at him. He put his arm around me. "No no! You look so cute!" I blushed. Damn blood vessels, I thought to myself.

"Oh...uh...thanks." Alex looked around the room.

"Wow. Your room is so neat. When there are 4 guys living together, it's such a mess. But when there's 4 girls living together- so neat." He looked dazed. I didn't want to burst his bubble and tell him that I'd just cleaned up. I shrugged. I was thinking that their tour bus would take longer than 20 minutes to clean.

"So what do you feel like watching?" Alex asked as he picked up the remote and headed towards the hastily made bed. He reached towards the comforter to pull it back, when I realized that might not be such a good move.

"No-" I tried to stop him but it was too late. He pulled back the comforter and was rewarded by a messy bed cover and a bunch of popcorn. He burst out laughing.

"I guess I spoke too soon about being neat." I giggled a little.

"You didn't give me enough time." I protested.

"I should check under the beds to see if you shoved stuff under there." He teased.

"Nope. I was good about cleaning up the rest of the stuff." I smiled.

"You're a liar. I can't trust anything you say." My heart stopped beating for a second. He furrowed his brow at me. I just stared at him.

"How did you know?" I asked in a whisper. He smiled.

"You were drunk. You said a few lines that you wrote. That was one of them. I think they're amazing." I felt like I was about to faint. This was the Alex Gaskarth telling me that my work was "amazing". It was different when Bee told me that, because she loved all my work (even if she edited the spelling, sometimes). Other people had praised my work before, too. Just...Alex Gaskarth's opinion was held at a different value entirely. Wow. I was stunned.

"You...Y-You think my work is...amazing?!" I asked after I got my voice working again. He blinked.

"Yeah. It's awesome!"

"Have you gone nuts?!?! YOUR work is beautiful and you think mine's good?! Even your BLOGS are...exactly that! They're so good, I have no words to describe it! You leave everyone speechless and you think my work is good?!" I burst out. He looked shocked at my outburst. He came over to me and pulled me into a hug and whispered into my hair.


"Nicole, I think your work is beautiful. Just like you. Whatever you told me last night was just...fucking amazing! You'll make an awesome songwriter. Seriously." He looked into my eyes for a long time before he kissed me, as if to try to help me understand just how truthful he was being. This was why I loved him so much. Soon after that we had brushed the popcorn off the bed, made a new bag and were settled down to watch The Happening which just happened to be playing on TV. About halfway through the movie, however, the popcorn bowl lay abandoned on the floor and the movie played in the background. Me and Alex were in our own world.

----------------------------------------------------


Kelly's POV

Robert looked at me, carefully.

"Kelly...?" He asked.

"Hmm?" I asked gently, not wanting to break the comfortable silence that enveloped us.

"What's going to happen after this?" He asked. I sighed, knowing exactly what he was thinking about, but I decided I wanted to hear him say it, and confirm my thoughts.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, turning away from the beautiful city lights so I could look him in the eyes.

"Like when you leave..." He said, confirming my thoughts. I held Robert close and closed my eyes.

"Nothing. Let's not think about it, k? Just for now. I just want to be happy for now." I looked at him. "Please." He nodded solemnly. I hugged him tighter and sighed contentedly.

"EWH! GET A FUCKING ROOM!" Someone yelled from the other side of the street and I looked around to see who they were. They were a bunch of rowdy boys, a few of them were swaying as if they were drunk. I could feel Robert's muscles tensing up and I squeezed his arm and tried to pull him along. A few guys crossed the street and followed us. I clutched Robert's arms in fear and tried to walk a little faster. Robert just gave me a look that told me that if those guys approached us there would be a fight. I turned back towards them and found them still following us. I pulled out my phone and waved it around to let them know that I had a phone with me. I quickly pulled Robert onto a crowded street, when I looked back at them and found them walking into a video store. I looked at Robert.

"I'm so paranoid!" I laughed and he laughed with me.

"I was worried about you, too." He said. We looked at each other.

"I think it's time for me to go home." I said, feeling sadness creep over me. "It's almost midnight and I need to check on Nicole, anyway."

"Yeah. No problem." We headed back to where we had parked the car. He held onto my hand as we walked towards the car and I swung our arms back and forth. It felt so childish. This- this is what we needed. This was all I wanted. What did we have to worry about? I looked back at the store and saw a person standing at the window- watching us. I felt a chill up my spine. I turned back to the window and there was nothing there. Passing it off as lack of sleep, I clutched Robert's hand tighter and got into the car.

----------------------------------------------------

Bee's POV

I pushed the button on the elevator and waited patiently for the elevator to show up. Zack looked at me.

"So we're going to check on Nicole and then we can go out again?" He asked.

"Yeah. Sheen messaged me how she was going out with Ben and Nicole's alone in the room so I just want to see if she's doing ok.” The elevator dinged. Me and Zack got in and I pressed 4. When we reached the floor we stepped out and pulled out the card. When we entered I gasped at the sight before me and I stopped short, causing Zack to stumble into my back. He looked over my head. On Nicole's bed, there were two dark heads poking out of the covers.

"NICOLE!" I yelled in shock. One of the dark heads stirred. There were clothes strewn all over the floor along with pieces of popcorn all over the place. 'Friends' was playing on mute on TV. Nicole's head poked out of the covers and she rubbed her eyes.

"Bee?!" She asked, blinking several times.

"YES! Nicole- AGAIN!?" As I yelled, Alex's head popped out of the covers.

"Nice." Zack nodded in approval. I turned around and stared at him, aghast at his reaction. He blushed and looked away. "I mean...uh...Alex, that's terrible. I can't believe you." Zack corrected himself. Alex looked at me, sheepishly. I glared at him and grabbed Zack's hand.

"We'll be outside." I said, icily. "Get dressed." I looked over at Nicole who was blushing. She had a glow around her face. I sighed. I couldn't deny her happiness, I guess. "Just...hurry up." I said, calming down a little. I pulled Zack outside and pulled the door shut behind me. I slid along the wall to the floor and looked out the window, sullenly.

"I'm sorry. It slipped out. You're not mad at me, are you?" Zack asked, as he joined me on the floor. I sighed.

"No. I'm not mad. It's just...Nicole's always been one to make decisions super quickly. She doesn't realize the implications of her actions, I don't think. I don't want her to get hurt." Zack nodded and then grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers.

"Alex is...he won't...Well, I wouldn't worry. If this is the second time we've seen them together then he must really like her." He kissed the top of my head. "Don't worry." I rested my head on his broad shoulders. We just sat there in comfortable silence for a good 10 minutes. The door opened cautiously and Alex stepped out, nervously, he looked around. I cleared my throat and he spun quickly around to face us. I could hear Zack shaking with silent laughter.

"So...we were never officially introduced." Alex tried, while I stood up. "I'm Alex. I play in All Time Low with Zack." He held out his hand. I took it and rolled my eyes.

"I know. I love All Time Low. You guys are one of my favourite bands." I smiled, but then I frowned. "You had better not hurt Nicole." I warned him in a low tone. He grinned, cheekily.

"Don't worry. I like her. Really!" He said. "Well, I'm going to uh..." He pointed to the floor. He sat down.

"You want to talk to her, right?" He said to me.

I looked at Zack. "Give me 10 minutes, k? And then we can leave." He nodded and then let out a laugh.

"I've never seen Alex so nervous except before our first show!" I laughed as Alex swatted Zack with the back of his hand.

"I have that effect on people." I winked as I stepped inside the room.

"Nic. Are you dressed?" I called into the room.

"Yeah." Nicole was sitting on the bed, as if awaiting my wrath. Well...she was going to be surprised.

"Well...wanna explain yourself?" I asked her, sternly.

"No! We just slept together. It was so innocent. Really. He called. I was alone and bored, and well, he came over...We were watching a movie and then...well...you know. We did it." Nicole blushed, but she was smiling brightly. I sighed.

"As long as you don't get hurt, I guess. I can't believe I'm letting you get away with this. You have to be feeling pretty darn special right now." She squealed and gave me a hug. "Just don't get hurt." I warned.

"Wanna know something? I think he really likes you!" I giggled as she turned red.

"Bee, me and Alex are going out. But we won't get drunk. I promise." She said. We agreed. When we came out we looked down and saw Alex and Zack sitting on the floor waiting for us. I looked at Nicole and burst out laughing.

"What?" Alex asked. We loved these boys till it hurt our hearts, but no matter what, we were still best friends with secrets that even these boys weren't entitled to know. Like the fact that Alex had a cowlick and was wearing his shirt inside-out!

----------------------------------------------------

Sheen's POV

Baltimore was so spectacular at night. There was no other way around it. Eager to live up to his role as my tour guide, Ben had insisted on taking me for the boat tour of the city. And now I was really glad he did. It was kind of chilly but the water was sparkling with the city lights reflecting off the surface. The tour lasted about an hour and I'd really seen a lot of the city, but I was very conscious of every move he made and doubly aware of every move I made. I realized that even the smallest thing I said or did could be perceived in a different manner. This led to me not saying anything other than "Mhmm.", "Yes", "No" and "Thank you for this. The city is beautiful!" There was one incredibly awkward moment where I had shivered involuntarily from being in the cold with nothing but my comfy shirt, which hadn’t come in handy anyway. He looked at me and took off his hoodie and offered it to me. I must've looked ridiculous, standing there looking at the warm sweater in his hand, speculating what my moves would mean. If I took it, would he think I

suddenly liked him that way?! And if I didn't take it, it would look rude and I would come off as an ungrateful brat. I finally ended up taking it. It was about 3 sizes too big and I had to pull back the sleeves. Then I regretted coming on the ferry in the first place. What if I was stringing him along just by telling him he could be my tour guide? That would mean hanging out everyday! The confusion mixed with the cool breeze was enough to give me a dull headache.

"Ben, thank you so much. But do you think it's possible you can drop me home now? I'm tired and plus, I promised Nicole I wouldn't be long." So, I lied. I never promised Nicole anything. But I needed time to think. He smiled, not suspecting a thing.

"Sure thing. We're just a few blocks away from where I parked." When we got to the car, he opened the door for me and I slid in. The drive home was weird, filled with an empty silence that had awkward written all over it.

"Sheena." Ben finally broke it when we were nearly there.

"Yeah?"

"Don't feel the need to be awkward around me, k? I'm not going to pester you. I asked you out cuz I thought you were a really cool person, but I'm good with being friends with said cool person, too. Really. I'm not going to push myself on you. That's not why I'm doing this." He explained. I sighed.

"I know, Ben. I know." But deep down I already knew that no matter what he said, somewhere in the corner of my heart would be the skeptic that scrutinized his and my every move. I waved goodbye to Ben when we reached the hotel. I walked into the mercifully empty and neat hotel room. I really didn't want to deal with any questions right now. But who had cleaned the room?! I saw a note taped on the fridge by Nicole that said she and Alex were out and no need to worry. I got a little worried but then I figured Nicole was able to make her own decisions. I made a quick phone call to Bee, who assured me that she knew about Nicole and had called Nicole a few minutes before to make sure. I relaxed. When I finally crawled under the comfortable sheets, my last thought before my head hit the pillow was about if Ben really meant what he said in the car or he was just saying it to get friendly with me...

----------------------------------------------------




SORRY

this is so long guys

but trust me chapter 6 is good :P

and i know this is really confusing

especially if your me

and you only read the parts im in

cuz im a huge self obsessed bitch :P


Posted on 11/17/2008 2:15 PM Comments (2)

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 4)

"I'm drunk and so is everyone else
In this devil town"
-Still Around: 3OH!3




Nicole's Pov

I giggled. Being drunk was fun. Me and Alex were driving and I couldn't tell what street we were at, but after I read a passing by sign I knew we were on Thames Street. Like Six Feet Under the Stars. Even my not-at-all sober mind was telling me that this was bad. I decided to ignore that part of my brain. After all, I was driving down the most romantic street in Baltimore (at least for me) with the guy I had pined for for 3 years. My thoughts were scattered all over my head. I knew I was drunk, but I was still subconsciously aware of everything, which meant I wasn't completely wasted. Alex was sounding a bit more sober as well. At least I wasn't with a completely drunk guy, things could be worse. Go figure. I was an optimist when I was drunk. I would try to tell Bee and Kelly this theory.

"Are you feeling better now? It was kind of stuffy in there and well, feeling stuffy isn't good for the...uhm...intoxicated." Alex said. I giggled. Giggling seemed to be a prone side effect. I was so much like Bee when I was drunk, giggling, being positive.

I was having such a good time with Alex that I forgot to be shy or not talk. When he asked me about my family, I very openly told him about my family. There were no secrets between us, tonight. One thing led to another topic and soon we were walking down South Broadway, hand in hand, as the car sat there, badly parked, in an empty parking lot. The thing about being in the city was that the lights were never completely off. Having people always around may be an annoying attribute to some people, but I loved the way I felt when I could see people around me. It made me feel secure. I liked feeling like I wasn't the only person in the world. But tonight, I just wanted everyone but me and Alex to disappear. Loving the way it felt to have his hand in mine, I was on cloud nine. I hadn't ever thought that I deserved this kind of happiness. I was a bitch to most people, hardly liked anyone and was incredibly easy to piss off. So what had I done to deserve someone like Alex? My thoughts were taking a different direction as we settled into a comfortable silence. I thought back to those days where I would sit in my room listening to 'Put Up or Shut Up' and sit there, feeling inspired to write something, anything, as good as Alex did. And I remember coming up empty. My thoughts were chased out of my head, abruptly when Alex stopped, pulling me in a different direction. We were at a beach. I looked around, but it was dark and I couldn't tell if there was anyone around. I looked at the waves. They looked calm and still, which was unusual since it was about 3:00 in the morning. I looked at Alex as if to confirm that he was thinking the same thing as me. He was. We both looked at each other and then back to the sea. It looked safe for a little swim. A little swim never hurt anyone. And plus, I'd always wanted to go skinny dipping...and it was even better if Alex was here with me...
---------------------------------------------------

Kelly's Pov

I paced back and forth in the hotel room. I was worried about Nicole.

"Kelly, it's ok. Bee just called. She's ok." Sheena said.

"I know, but I won't be comfortable until she gets back. I was supposed to stick with her!" I replied, still pacing. I can't believe she had headed out the door with a drunk guy for a drive, while she was DRUNK! The door creaked open and Nicole stepped in, swaying precariously, I reached her just in time before she fell. Bee poked her head around the door, and she stepped inside as Nicole giggled.

"Hehe. I almost fell." Nicole laughed.

"Yes, you did. So you should probably lie down." I said gently, steering her slowly towards the bed. She flopped onto it and giggled some more. I almost smiled. Poor girl was going to have a splitting headache tomorrow morning, but she looked so happy right now. I wondered what had happened to make her so happy. I patted her head and smiled. She just turned over, giggling. "Oh Alex...stop." Nicole babbled on. I felt guilty about her condition. I was so caught up with Robert tonight that I ignored her. She was giggling again. I wondered why she hadn't gotten up to go

throw up yet or use the bathroom at all. Just as I finished that thought, Nicole sat upright, clutching her mouth with one hand and her head with the other.

"Nicole?" I asked. I raced to her side and helped her to the bathroom where she promptly threw up into the toilet. Bee and Sheena rushed inside. Sheena filled up a glass of water and Bee came back with a cloth and wet it. She pushed back Nicole's bangs. I held back the rest of the hair while she patted Nicole's head with the wet cloth. Nicole moaned and grabbed her stomach.

"Ugh!" She said. "I know, I know. It's ok. Get it out." I said.

"My head hurts! And I feel really-" She paused while she continued to throw up.

"It's ok. You'll feel better when it's over." Sheena grabbed a magazine and fanned Nicole, while she caught her breath.

"I think...I'm done." Nicole said, still out of breath.

"Are you sure?" Sheena asked.

"Yeah. I think so." Nicole replied. She attempted to get up and almost collapsed, but me and Bee caught her just in time. We helped her back to the bed, where Sheena held out 2 advils. Nicole downed them with the glass of water I held out for her. She was soon fast asleep, slipping into a world of dreams.

---------------------------------------------------

Bee's POV

I was woken up the next morning with a small, persisting headache and the phone vibrating loudly next to me on the bedside table. I looked at the caller id. It was a number I didn't recognize. I picked it up quickly before I woke someone up. Nicole was going to be having a hangover headache, anyway.

"Hello?!" I cringed at the sound of my own voice, too loud for the quiet room and croaky from disuse.

"Hey. Did I wake you up?" An unfamiliar voice said from the other end.

"Uh...who is this?" I asked, getting right to the point. I was sleepy, therefore I had permission to be bitchy. UGH! It was way too early to be arguing with strangers on the phone.

"It's Zack."

"Oh my god." I immediately perked up. "Sorry. I didn't recognize-"

"It's ok. Were you sleeping?"

"Uh...yes." I blushed. "Sorry." I apologized for everything. He laughed.

"It's ok. I just wanted to show you around. But I guess some other day."

"Oh! Oh..." I was disappointed. He wanted to take me out, but now he said "some other day." Now what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just yell "NO! Take me out, please!"

"Unless...are you free after 5?"

"Oh yeah! I mean...yes, of course." I was trying to save myself. He laughed again.

"K. I'll pick you up then."

"Alright. I'll see you later." I was grinning when I got off the phone. I punched the air with happiness.

"YES!

"Who was that?" I jumped about a mile in the air. I turned around hastily, my hand over my heart. Sheena was sitting there with a questioning smile on her face.

"Holy crap, Sheen! You scared me! It was Zack! Me and him are going out at 5:00! AHHHH!" I said, hardly believing it myself. "Oh my gosh! Did I wake you up?!" I asked sheepishly.

"Yeah." She said, then continued when I opened my mouth to apologize. "It's ok. It's late anyway."

"No, it's not. What're you talking about?" I asked, confused. I figured it was only 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon. But that was excusable. We had got home at around 5:00 last night and then Nicole had been sick. Sleep had finally claimed me at about 7:00 a.m. I was dead tired!

"Uhm, hun, its 3:47 p.m." Sheena said, giving me a weird look.

"Shit. You're kidding. Crap, Sheen. He's getting here in another hour! How bad's the hair?" Panicked, I spoke quickly.

"Calm down. You have an hour. It's ok and your hair looks fine as soon as you run a brush through it."

"I'm calm. I'm calm." I said. Nicole groaned from under her sheets.

"Pain! Death come claim me! Sweet mercy, Jesus. Save me!"

I almost laughed. Nicole.

"Do you want an advil?" I asked, barely concealing my laughter.

"PLEASE!" She begged. I got up and pulled out the pills and handed them to her, along with a glass of water.

"How're you feeling?" Sheena asked.

"Like shit." Nicole said, groaning and grabbing her head again.

"That's what you get for getting drunk." Kelly's voice came from the bathroom. She emerged from the bathroom, wearing a towel on her head.

"Please. Let's not go there. I don't need a lecture. I had fun, though." Nicole grinned, devilishly.

"Oh my god! No! Nicole tell me you didn't." I said.

She nodded shyly. I looked at her, aghast, but not particularly surprised. Was she serious? She was drunk and so was he! Did that even count? Kelly gasped.

"NICOLE! I can't believe you!" She finally said. She looked like she had seen a ghost. Her face was white.

"Well, it was worth it. But I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing." Nicole defended herself.

"That's no excuse." Kelly said.

"Well, it would've happened anyway!" Nicole burst, then winced and grabbed her head. Kelly forgot the yelling match and rushed to the fridge and pulled out a Hershey bar. She gave it to Nicole.

"I got it this morning from the vending machine downstairs. It's good for you."

"Yeah. Vito told me that once." I said. Nicole chewed on the chocolate. Kelly looked and me and Sheena.

"Uhm...I have to uh...go out." She said, blushing. "Robert called. He's going to take me out. Is that ok?" She looked at Nicole.

"YEAH! Go. I'll be fine. And you need to tell us about him when you get back." She smiled, but rubbed her temples as she chewed on her chocolate. I brought her a glass of orange juice.

"Vito told me that you lose a lot of vitamin C while you're drunk or something." I told her.

Nicole laughed. "Apparently, Vito's like the hangover headmaster or something."

We all laughed and I hesitated. "Well, uh..." I didn't want to leave a hung-over Nicole alone. "Uh...Zack...uh called."

"Bee??! You have to leave too?” She asked. I looked down and then up at Sheena.

"Well...I'm staying." Sheena said.

"Oh. That's ok. You can go out. I don't mind." Nicole said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Don't worry. I'm hung-over, not dying. I'll survive."

I laughed. She even sounded her herself. I looked at the clock. Darn. I only had 45 minutes to let dressed. Oh my gosh! I pulled out clothes and lunged for the bathroom. I was ready to go in record time, about 10 minutes before 5:00. The phone rang. Nicole answered it in one ring and put it on speaker.

"Hello. This is the hotel front desk. You have a visitor."

"Is it a rapist?" Nicole asked.

"Nicole!" I whispered.

"Name please, sir."

"Zack. I'm here for Bee." I heard in the background. My heart sped up.

"It's Zack, miss."

"Oh." Nicole looked at me. "She'll be right there." I hugged Sheena and Nicole. "I hope you feel better, Nic." I grabbed my cardigan and fled to the elevator. I had a chance to catch my breath. Calm, Surb, calm. I breathed in deeply. The elevator doors opened and I heard someone step in.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Kinda nervous. But I'll be fine." I said, my eyes still closed. Why was I telling all this to a stranger? Weird...his voice was friendly though. His voice made me want to tell him everything that I was feeling. The elevator dinged. I finally opened my eyes and stepped out, looking around for Zack. I couldn't find him anywhere. Someone grabbed me from behind and I jumped.

"Looking for someone, Ms. Nervous?" A soft voice whispered in my ear, while I struggled to break free. I turned around and felt giddy.

"You got me so scared." I said, smiling up at him.

"Mhmm..." I looked into his eyes and felt nervous and giddy all over again.

---------------------------------------------------

Sheen's POV

Nicole was sitting on the bed, still eating her chocolate and sipping her orange juice, flipping through channels. I had showered and changed and made some popcorn while we watched a rerun of The Gilmore Girls on TV. I had been obsessed with that show for a while. We were just chilling, sitting there, when my cell phone went off. I picked up without checking the number.

"Hello?" I said, distractedly. Dean and Rory were about to kiss.

"Hey. Sheena, right?" A mail voice said.

"Yeah. Who is this?" I asked.

"It's Ben. Hi!" He said.

"Hey." I said. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. I just wanted to know...are you busy?" Ben asked.

"Well, no, not really." I replied, my eyes still glued to the TV and hardly paying attention to the phone.

"Well, I was just wondering...do you want to go out sometime?" Ben asked.

"Oh...uhm..." I was caught up with tension. What was I supposed to say to that?

"No? Well that's...ok I guess." Ben sounded so down.

"No. No no! It's nothing like that! Look...I just...can we meet so I can explain myself? Please..." I attempted to fix the situation.

"Yeah. I guess so..." He said, still sounding sad. I glanced at Nicole. Oh my gosh! Nicole! I'd totally forgotten about her.

"I'll...uh...see you in a few. Can you pick me up?" I gave him the directions and hotel name. He said he'd be there in half an hour. I looked at Nicole. "Hey. I have to leave you for a bit, k?"

"Sure." Nicole shrugged. "I'm alright. You know how Bee and Kelly get."

"Yeah." I said. Nicole looked at me.

"Are you ok? What happened?" I looked at her.

"Uh...Ben just called, you know the guy I was hanging out with last night. He just asked me out and I don't know what to say to him...I mean, I like him. He seems like a nice person and everything, but you know...I don't like him that way." I was nervous about what to tell him.

"I know what you mean. It sucks. But best way to let him down is to tell him you guys can still be friends. I've been in situations like that before. It's better to not lead them on at all. Be clear. Be distant, if you have to, just get the message across." While Nicole talked, I walked over to my suitcase and started pulling out clothes.

"Why does this always happen to me?!" I whined. Nicole nodded.

"Don't put too much thought into your clothes. Wear what you want to wear. Maybe what you'll wear will be a turn-off for him." I laughed. 45 minutes later, I was dressed low, in a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt that was comfy. I figured that comfortable clothing would make me less nervous, but that magic wasn't working. I was sitting across from Ben at a Starbucks.

"Uh...k. Well let me just get right to the point...I...uh...well. I like you, Ben, just not in that way. I'm sorry. But we can be friends, right? And, it wouldn't work out anyway, so it would be for the best to not get something started..." I was looking at his face, which was unreadable. "Ben...? Uhm..."

"I'm fine. Thanks for being honest, Sheena." He smiled a little. "We can be friends. As long as you let me be your tour guide for the 3 weeks you're here." I smiled. This was something I could allow.

"Sure." I sighed inaudibly in relief. Thank goodness that worked out.

----------------------------------------------------




hey guys.

sorry its been so long.
bee was having technical malfunctions
with her mind :P


Posted on 11/17/2008 2:07 PM Comments (0)

October 14, 2008

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 3)

"I'm always drawn to each horizon
When it's rising, when it sets
But all I can think about is sex
And playing one more game of six-cup
In the backyard at "The Wedge"
I know I'll never die alone because of all of you..."
-Let It Roll:All Time Low


Nicole's POV


I looked around the room. It was dark and smoky. People were standing around in a huddle. Then I  saw him. And then I jumped behind a couch, breaking up the annoying kissing couple, which was not so much a bad thing.
"Ex-CUSE me!" The girl shouted.
"You're excused" I replied hurriedly, too distracted by my fear to reply more bitchily.
"What the FUCK! What's your problem? Who the fuck are you, anyway?" She glared at me.
"Nicole. And my problem is that you and your boyfriend here think it's fine to put on a show for the general public, when in reality it's utterly disgusting!" I replied with as much acid as I could muster.
"UHHHH...well if it's bothering you: go away!" The girl said.
"Whatever." I turned away from her to spy on Alex only to find that everyone in the room was looking at me.
I shied away from everyone's eyes and slunk low to the floor.
Oh fuck, oh fuck! I HATE attention.
Suddenly a pair of Nike shoes in front of me. I looked up slowly, shivering in fear as I followed the skinny jeans and then a familiar Glamour Kills shirt and then I looked up and froze up completely.
"Hey, are you uh...ok?" He asked, appraising my curled up body.
"I...uh...I...uh..." I stammered
"You're Nicole, right?" He asked.
"WHAT?! Uh...how do you know that?" I was beyond confused.
"You kind of announced it to the entire room." He said, smiling.
"Oh...uh, k." I said.
"So...are you new here?" He asked, holding out his arm for me to get up.
"Uh...uh..." I tried to say 'yes' but I failed so I just nodded. He then grabbed my hand quickly and pulled me up. I almost fainted at the contact.
"Uh..." I wanted to say 'thanks' but my tongue was not obeying today. I was star-struck and totally in love.
"So...where are you from?" Alex asked.
"Uh...Ca-Ca-Canada." I stammered. Get yourself together, Nicole.  "Canada."
"Whoa. Cool. So why're you here?"
I took a moment to gather my thoughts. He stared at me intently as he waited for my answer.
"Well...it's my birthday in a month and my friend's birthday just passed and we decided that...uh...well..." I didn't want to announce the fact that we had come so we could pretty much spy on them.
He looked at me with what I deduced was amusement.
"Well...we, uh...just wanted to get away from home for a while. And so...uh...we came here."
"Oh. How long are you staying?"
"Uhm...oh. 3 weeks. We're leaving a couple of days before my birthday."
"Well that sucks." Alex commented.
"Why?" I asked, slightly confused. I was getting slightly used to his presence. He smelled like a mixture of vanilla and Tag, but different. I breathed in the scent, wanting to remember it.
"I won't get to say happy birthday to you." He stated, as if it was obvious.
I felt myself go red. Oh honestly, now was not a good time to blush.
"Oh, HEY ALEX!" A voice from behind me interrupted. It was the makeout girl. Where was her boyfriend, now? She probably made the poor guy get a drink for her or something. I glared at her, letting her know that her prescence was irratating enough without her squeaky high voice. Then as if it wasn't enough, she draped her arms over his shoulders and hugged him. Longer than necessary, I might add. I bristled with anger. What the...fuck! The girl thought she could just waltz into other people's conversations? She was so wrong. She was picking a battle with the wrong person. I cleared my throat and she let go of him. She turned around and studied me.
"Alex," She asked in surprise, "Do you know this girl?"
"Uh...kinda. We just met. This is uh...Nicole and Nicole, this is Lisa." He said, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Oh." Then she turned to me. "Me and Alex went to the same school our entire lives."
"Really? How very interesting." I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Alex was shaking with silent laughter.
"Yeah, I know, right? We've been friends since he threw sand in my eyes from the sandbox when we were 5."
"Uh huh. That's lovely. Sand in the eyes, you say. Ouch." I replied. The girl was really bad at taking a hint.
"Yeah, I know." She looked at Alex, lovingly. "Even nowdays, we're so close. I mean, he's always away on tour but we've managed to keep our friendship intact."
"Huh. Wow. Amazing." I glowered.
Alex suddenly laughed really hard.
"What? Why're you laughing?" She asked him, confused.
I was confused, too. But I didn't say anything. Instead I smiled so it looked like me and Alex had a secret. Ha! Take that, mega-bitch!
"Nothing, nothing." He replied. He looked at me and winked and smiled in my direction.
Lisa frowned. "You're keeping secrets from me." She complained.
I was beyond frustrated with this girl. "I'm going to go get myself a glass of punch or something." I said and headed in the general direction of the punch. I filled a glass to the brim and headed back to Alex and the stupid blond girl. I was a few feet away from them and her back was facing me. I could tell they were talking about me.
"Good job, Alex. You've always been good at picking the best sluts."
"Shut up, Lisa." He said. Just then, he saw me. Lisa followed his eyes and when she saw me, she smirked.
"Oh look. Tonight's catch is back, Alex."
I lost it after that and took my glass of punch and did what any self-respecting girl would've done with it. I threw it in the surprised bitch's face.
----------------------------------------------------

Sheen's POV

I looked around for Bee, wanting to tell her about Brad. What an idiot. Seriously. Pretty much all the guys were asses here. What a waste of time. I tried to recall what was it about him that had compelled me to talk to him in the first place. It was because Bee, Nicole and Kelly all dissapeared shortly after arriving at the party. I looked around some more and finally spotted her. She was talking to Zack. Wow, the girl could talk! No, I wasn't going to cut her slack this time. No. I needed my best friend, right now. So I marched right up to them and I tried to look desperately at Bee.
"Surb!" I complained when she smiled at me.
"Oh! Zack, this is my best friend, Sheena. Sheen, this is Zack."
"Hi," I said, distracedly to Zack. "Surb, when are we leaving?"
Zack and Bee both looked taken aback by my bluntness. Bee <u>finally</u> realized that I needed to talk to her alone. She looked at Zack apologetically. "I'll uh...be right back." She grabbed my arm and pulled me slightly away.
"Sheen, what's up? What happened? I saw you talking to that guy. I thought you looked fine."
"No. He was such a bum. We were arguing not talking.. We were discussing piano. He doesn't even play and he thinks it's boring and a thing of the past. I would've strangled him if I wasn't afraid of police raiding this house and finding me guilty of murder, as well as in a house full of drunk and immature teenagers."
"Sheen, let it go. The guy was probably drunk. Go talk to other people. Mingle. Or you could just hang out with me and Zack." Bee said.
Mingle. Yeah, right. I'd never mingled. Bee was good with meeting new people. Me: not so much. But her other offer didn't sound tempting, either. I didn't want to spend the night attached to Bee while she and Zack flirted. No thanks. "I'm going to go find a bathroom." I finally replied. "Go back to Zack. I think he's getting restless." I smirked at Bee. She looked around but caught herself and quickly turned back around, a guilty look on her face.
"Are you sure?" Oh god. The girl's conscience was kicking in again. I rolled my eyes.
"Surb, I'll be fine." I said. "Seriously. Go! He's waiting for you and do me a favour and hug him before we leave tonight." With that, I turned on my heel and left my best friend there, with her eyes wide. I could tell what she was thinking. Sheen was being romantic!?WHOA! I smiled slightly. Surb should know by now that I was always full of surprises. I quickly discovered the bathroom door, walking towards it. I pulled it open only to find a bedroom, not a bathroom. There was a guy sitting on the bed, reading. He looked up and I felt like I was falling. He smiled. "Hey. Come for an escape?" I looked back through the open doorway, thinking about what Bee had said about "mingling." Sure, why not?
"Oh yeah!" I said, sounding confident. I stepped into the room, my toes tingling.
----------------------------------------------------

 Bee's POV

I was gazing into Zack's eyes. They were beautiful. As were the hordes of girls that came up to him and hugged him and
fawned over him. Each time, he would politely extricate himself from them and blush deeply when he looked at me. He
probably already knew what I was thinking; everyone knew I wasn't exactly hard to read. I was completely at a loss about
what to think, though. I mean, here I was, thinking I had a chance because we'd had this awesome conversation and had
totally bonded or whatever, but he already had a bunch of girl friends (girlfriends?) who were prettier than me. I looked away
from his eyes. I stared at his shoes, instead. They were pretty, too. Purple, orange and black. I wondered if this was
how people in love reacted to everything. Everything was beautiful or pretty. I was so caught up in my thinking that I
didn't notice that he was waving his hands at me. 'Huh?' I asked in surprise when I finally noticed. 'You zoned out on me!' He said. 'Oh...uh...yeah.' I said. 'I didn't mean to. It just happened. I
was thinking.''About what?' He asked, curiously.'Love.' I blurted without thinking about it. I clapped my hand
over my mouth. He looked surprised. 'Why?' He asked.I didn't know how to respond to that. 'Uhm...'I couldn't tell
him I loved him! That would scare him off, and plus he probably already had a girlfriend. 'I'm not sure.' I said,
finally.'Oh.' He looked at me and then said, almost shyly, 'You know, I don't really know all those girls. They were
kind of drunk or something, but I didn't recognize most of them.' He blushed right then and if I wasn't so upset, my
heart would've melted on the spot. 'Oh really?!' I cringed at the sound of my voice, which was
more accusatory than I'd intended. 'Really, I swear.' He looked into my eyes and I felt some of
the anger leave my body. He leaned forward slowly and I pretty much would've fainted if he hadn't grabbed my hands.
The contact left me shivering in anticipation. I was shivering so hard that I was shivering so hard that I was vibrating. Oh
wait, that was my phone. 'Uh...sorry. Hold on.' I glanced at the caller id. CM. I frowned because he'd interruputed a good moment. 'Hey.' I said into the phone. 'Hey! How's Maryland?!' He asked.
'Great!' I responded. 'I have so much to tell you, but maybe later.' I glanced at Zack. 'We're at this house party, so I
can't really talk.''Oh, seriously? It's like your 2nd night there!'  'I know. Long, but kinda short story. I'll explain later.'
'Yeah. You can do it this weekend. Me and Chintan are coming for the weekend.'  
'WHAT?!' I barked, in surprise. Zack looked me, curiously.'Yeah. Just for the weekend. It'll be cool.'
'Uh...k. I'll tell the others.''K...later.' CM said.
'Bye.' I said, clicking the 'end' button. 'Who was that?' Zack questioned almost immediately.
'A friend. He and my other friend are coming down for the weekend. It'll be cool. You'll get to meet them.' I said.
'Cool.' He said.Just then, we heard a scream. Me and Zack exchanged a
confused glance and headed in the direction of the scream. What I saw next made me stop in my tracks. What was going
ON!?
---------------------------------------------------

Kel's POV
Nicole stood in the middle of a big crowd, clutching a glass punch and sporting a sour look on her face. I gasped. Robert
looked at me, questioningly. 'That's my best friend, Nicole.' I whispered. 'I wanted you to meet her in a better way.' I
walked towards the middle of the crowd where Nicole was standing. I noticed a girl was sprawled on the floor and her
hair was wet with punch. From Nicole's cup. Oh god. I spotted Bee making her way over and Sheena coming over
from the other side of the room. I reached Nicole first and attempted to drag her away from the scene. But apparently
the girl had recovered from her initial surprise. 'YOU BITCH!' She yelled at Nicole.
'Excuse me. But YOU were the one who was acting all stupid and making bitchy comments. You deserved
everything you GOT!' Nicole replied, venomously.I looked at Bee for support. She grabbed Nicole's other arm
and tried to pull her away, but Nicole stayed where she wasa.'K...show's over. Go away.' A voice behind me said. Sheena.
People started dispersing. I guess drama like this happened at parties like this and they were all used to it. Sheena walked
over to the other girl and helped her stand up. `We're sorry, but Nicole didn't mean to do it.' Sheena said to
the girl. The girl muttered under her breath. I caught stray words like 'accident', 'bitch', and 'my ass'. I nudged Nicole
and whispered, 'Say sorry!'
'Hell no!' She whispered back. 'C'mon Nic. We have to leave soon anyway.'   'I'm sorry.' Nicole said, clearly not meaning it.
The girl just glared at her. 'Whatever!' She said. 'ADAM!' She yelled and a guy joined us, looking sheepish. 'C'mon. We're leaving.' She looked at us with contempt. She shook Sheena off and grabbed Adam's arm and strutted out of the room with her high heels. Robert came up behind me. 'Wow, she was pretty scary.'
'I know! She was full-out creepy.' I turned to see who had spoken. It was Alex. As in Gaskarth. As in object of Nicole's
love! He was laughing quietly. 'I knew if anyone could get rid of her, it was Nicole.' He casually slung his arm around her and Nicole's already pink cheeks turned red. Bee and Sheena exchanged a quick grin before returning to normal. I turned to look at the scene around us. The room was empty, but it was littered. I felt sorry for the owners of this house. I noticed a guy sitting on the couch, his nose in a book. Sheena noticed me looking because she smiled.
'That's Ben.' She said. I smiled back, glad that she'd not been alone. I felt guilty for ditching her for Robert. Bee was
hanging out with Zack and it was natural that Nicole would track Alex down, which left me and her and we were
supposed to stick together, but then I hadn't known that Robert was here. My breath caught just thinking about it. I
let my mind wander over the details of tonight. This party was good luck. First, I'd run into Robert, who had the most
gorgeous eyes and then we'd talked. He was so perfect. Only a year older, he was focused and wanted to become a doctor
when he grew up. He and I had just...clicked, I guess. We'd talked about anything and everything. He was attending
Brown and it was incredible because that's where I wanted to go. I really liked him. And then he kissed me and I felt
lightweight as if I could fly. No one had ever made me feel like this before. As I gazed into his eyes, I felt the rest of the
room fading away. I was content just holding his hand for now. Nicole noticed, as did Bee and Sheena. They all flashed
me subtle smiles that showed they approved. Soon enough, other people floated in and out of the room and the
conversation soon flowed between me and Robert again, interrupted only near about 3:00 a.m. when Sheena said she
wanted to go home because she was tired.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Sheen's POV

'I'm the designated driver.' Ben was saying. He laughed. 'I don't really mind, but sometimes my drunk best friend is
really annoying.' He continued.I looked at him and smiled. 'I know what you mean.' I tried to
picture a drunk Bee and the only thing I could think of was a really gabby and giggly girl. It's a good thing my best friend
was very much against getting wasted. I didn't think she wanted people to see the drunk side of her, but she did have
a drink every now and then. 'Is he here today?' I asked, wanting to meet Ben's best friend. 'Oh yeah. He's the only
reason I'm here today.' He said, then glanced at me. 'But I'm kinda glad I came.' I smiled at that. He was sweet, but I
wasn't irrational. I was leaving in a few weeks and then me and Bee were flying to London to spend the rest of the year
there and we would start at Oxford University in 2nd term. There was no chance for me and Ben ever getting together
and staying that way. But we could definately be friends. That's what I wanted. 'So where's he, at the moment?' I
asked, somewhat curious. 'Around somewhere.' He said vaguely, shrugging.'We can go look for him if you want.' I suggested. 'K.' He grabbed his book and started towards the living room
where there was a table set up with a bunch of beer cups. I found Bee and Zack standing there.
'What's going on?' I asked them.'Nothing as interesting as this.' Bee said quietly, so that only
I could hear her, nudging me. I shook my head no as subtely as possible to tell her that it wasn't as she thought. 'This is
Ben. Ben, this is Bee.'
'Hi.' Bee smiled. He smiled back and nodded in greeting. Zack and Ben nodded at each other and I figured they already
knew each other. 'So explain what's going on!' I asked Bee. 'It's call Beer Pong. There's 2 teams. You try to get the ping
pong ball into the cup, if you miss, you drink it, if you get it in the other team drinks it.' Zack explained.
'Oh.' I nodded. Ben pulled my arm, pointing at a guy.'That's Brad, my best friend.' Just then, the guy turned
around and looked at us and waved and my stomach turned over.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Nicole's POV

I was drunk. My head was buzzing and I was dizzy. Alex held up the ball and threw it.
It plonked into the beer cup. 'HA!' He yelled in triumph, raising his arms over his head like he'd just won the gold medal at the Olympics.
He pointed at Jack. 'Drink up.' Jack grabbed the cup, pulled the ball out and drained it. He stood at the other end and took his aim and in went the ball.
Damn, I thought.
He pointed to me. 'Your turn!' I started to shake my head. No way. I was drunk enough. Alex noticed my hesitation.
'It's ok. I'll drink it.' He said gently to me. He grabbed the cup and gulped the beer. His entire face was fuzzy or maybe it was because I was drunk. Someone put their hand on my shoulder and I turned around unsteadily on my feet. It was Bee.
 'Hey. Maybe you should pull out of the game. You look...uh...you know...'
Drunk, I filled in for her. 'But there's only one cup left!' I protested. 'Let me finish this game, at least. We're winning.' But I could tell I wasn't going to win this battle with Bee. I was right. She was giving me that look, the look that made me feel incredibly guilty.
'Nicole, last cup! Come 'ere! You're my good luck charm!' Alex called from behind me. I gave Bee a desperate look and my eyes were begging. Bee sighed. 'Fine. Last game though.' She said sternly. 'THANK YOU!' I leaned forward to give her a hug and stumbled drunkenly. Bee held my arm and gave me look that made me feel guilty all over again. Then another hand grabbed my arm. It was Alex. 'C'mon. I have you.' He whispered, gently pulling me against him. ''Kay.' I managed to slur. He grabbed the ping pong ball and held it up.
'Blow on it.' I blew on it. 'Ok.' He said and he threw the ball. He whooped and hollered as it flew into the cup. He put his
arms around me and started jumping. This was the coolest night ever. Jack stumbled to the couch and lay down, looks
like I wasn't the only one that was drunk. I smiled. 'What're you smiling at?' Alex asked.'Nothing. This is the coolest night EVER!' I replied. 'So you had fun, right?' He asked.
'YEAH!' I responded. 'Good, cuz I would hate to have you dissapointed.' He gave me a scorching look.
'Wh-Why?' I stammered. He just continued gazing at me. 'You know, I really like you, Nicole.' He said as he lowered his
face to mine. Sparks lit up my entire body and I felt dizzy when he kissed me. I wondered if he could hear my heart thudding manically in my chest. I was grinning when he pulled away. I was giddy with happiness. 'C'mon.' Alex said, taking my hand and leading me out of the room. I would follow him just about anywhere.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Bee's POV

I found myself looking into Zack's eyes for the second time tonight. This night had been eventful. Kelly looked super-cute
with Robert and Nicole with Alex. Sheena had clarified that she didn't think of Ben that way but I suspected otherwise. Baltimore was turning out to be the most...wonderful trip I'd been on. There were sleepy couples emerging out of rooms. 'I think I'm going to go home now. I mean...yeah.' I said. I really didn't want to leave but I tried to think straight. I needed to leave. It was late and everyone was leaving. I looked into his eyes again. Oh my. He was leaning towards me. My heart was pumping louder than ever. How can one person make you feel like that?' When he finally kissed me, it was like diving and I kept falling and falling and falling. I was dizzy from the head rush. When he pulled away I was grinning. This was the happiest moment of my life. The night came to an end then. Sheena came and found me. She had Kelly with her. 'Where's Nicole?' Kelly asked. 'I don't know. She was playing that game when I last saw her.' I replied.'Well, we've looked everywhere for her. She's not here.' Sheena said. I felt a panic attack coming on. WHAT?! Where the hell was she? I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled through the numbers frantically. I pressed send and it rang. 'Hey!' Nicole answered at the other end.
'Where the hell are you?!?!' I asked.'Whoa, Bee. Calm down. I just went for a drive.' 'DRIVE?!?!?! HAVE YOU GONE NUTS?!?! YOU'RE DRUNK!' I was spazzing but what was she thinking? 'No. I didn't drive. Alex drove.' I rolled my eyes. I was starting to calm down a little. She sounded fine. 'Alex was drunk too! Where are you? We're coming to pick
you up.' She gave me the major intersections. Zack looked at me. 'I'll drive you. You don't know where you're going.' He said. 'Sheena and Kelly can drive home.'    'Fine.' I agreed quickly. I tossed the keys to Sheena. 'Call me
when you get to the hotel. And we'll be home soon. Don't worry.' I quickly gave Sheena and Kelly a hug and hurried out
of the door after Zack. He grabbed my hand in the car as he sped towards the street. 'Don't worry. Alex doesn't really get drunk. She's fine.' Oh yeah. Real assuring. I'm sure that's what they told the police, too, I thought to myself. As long as she was fine...And I was thinking that after a romantic drive down Thames Street she was more than fine.
-----------------------------------------------------------


Posted on 10/14/2008 3:22 PM Comments (0)

September 24, 2008

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 2)

"Here's to the fast times; the times we felt alive;
to all the nights that we forgot to get back home.
Stay seventeen,
the party scene has got the best of me and you,
we've got to let this go..."
-The Party Scene: All Time Low

Bee's POV

I yawned and raised my arms over my head. The sun shined through the windows. The past day came flooding back to me. I smiled. Baltimore. Right. I can't believe I'm here. Wow. The thoughts chased each other around her head. Oh...wait. Groceries. Sometime during my tiredness last night, I'd promised them all that I was going to buy the groceries. I groaned. Moment of weakness. Oh well, I might as well get dressed. I looked around. Kelly's side of the bed was made and Nicole was gently turning on her side. I looked at Sheena who looked so peaceful. So I decided to let them sleep. Kelly pushed open the room door. She smiled.

"Oh hey. I decided to pop downstairs and grab some breakfast."

"How long have you been awake?" I asked her drowsily.

"Oh...I think since 7:30."

"Wow. How do you do that?" I asked her.

"Do what?" She asked, slightly confused. 

"Get up so early. It's inhumane!" I said.

Kelly just laughed. "Are you headed off to buy the groceries?"

I frowned. "Don't remind me. I just remembered that I promised. I honestly didn't mean to volunteer. I bet you guys spiked my hot chocolate to make me say that."

Kelly laughed some more.  

"I think you'd better go get the groceries, I'll wake these two up."

"Ok." I sighed. Might as well get everything done sooner rather than later.

----------------------------------------------------

"...Milk check, bread check. Ok. So I have everything we need. What else should I get then?" I wondered out loud.

"Ice cream would complete the package." I exclaimed.

I headed towards the cold section of the supermarket. I shivered involuntarily. It was freezing here. Oh no.

"I don't even know what flavour ice cream I should get. Hm...Neapolitan...hmmm..." I stood there a little more, contemplating the ice cream section. I took out the big container of the Neapolitan ice cream. I turned around and ran smack into someone. I dropped the ice cream tub on their foot.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry." I gasped. I attempted to straighten the basket of groceries in my hand while I bent down to pick up the ice cream tub. The bread slipped out of the basket.

"Oh dear." I exclaimed.

"Do you want some help?" The stranger asked.

"Uh...yes please. Thank you, so much. I'm so sorry about dropping the ice cream on your -" I looked up to give the poor guy a smile for all his help. And I was stunned speechless.

----------------------------------------------------

Sheen's POV

Where was Bee? She was supposed to be done with groceries 2 hours ago.

"So what time did she leave, exactly?" I asked.

"Uh...I think around 11:00 a.m." Kelly answered.

"Are you sure? It's 3:00 and she's not back yet. I think there's something wrong. And she left her cell phone behind. She never does that." I fretted.

"Sheen, it's ok. She's probably fine. She probably just got extra caught up with the groceries or...something." Nicole attempted.

Just then the door to the room opened and Bee stepped in, grinning madly.

We all turned to stare at her.

"What?" She asked, a little defensively. "Help me with the groceries, please!"

"Where have you BEEN!?" I asked her.

"Oh...well...I'll explain. But help me first. There's a lot to tell, I guess." She said, hurriedly.

Nicole and Kelly headed towards the door, but I was a little wary. Bee always had a tale to tell. But I was curious. Why was she so excited? I sighed and headed towards the groceries and helped drag them in and stocked them in the fridge in the corner of the room.

"Ok. Now. Spill. What happened?" Nicole stole the words from my mouth.

"Ok...so...I was happily grocery shopping and then I went to the ice cream part of the store and I was so undecided. Oh- I bought Neapolitan, by the way."

"EWH! NO! I HATE NEOPOLITAN! Well...no. But I hate the strawberry and like, if it even touches the rest, I freak out." Nicole responded.

Kelly rolled her eyes.

"BEE, NICOLE! Not the point here!" I exclaimed.

"Right, right! So anyhoo. I like grab the tub, turn around and completely run into this guy and drop the tub on his foot. And then -" She broke off, a dreamy expression taking over her face. "And then...I met him."

Sheena realized that something was up. Oh, Bee wasn't lying. There was definitely a tale behind this.

----------------------------------------------------

Nicole's POV

Nicole watched Bee's expression intently as she continued the story. Wow. That was romantic. She ran into her loved one so quickly!? It wasn't fair. Where was Alex right now? Grocery-bumping into girls, too? Girls that weren't her! She scowled at the thought.

"And then- he asked me to come to the party tonight!" Bee continued without losing any steam. "I mean...isn't that exciting? Not even a day in Baltimore and we're already invited to one of the awesome parties here? Seriously. This is the best. I'm glad I decided to go grocery shopping!" She squealed.

"Yeah! Go Bee! I can't believe how easily you did that!" Kelly said.

"Yeah! I know! Me too. It was incredible that I could even talk straight. At first, I like froze and he was asking if I was ok and stuff and then I finally came out of my shell, I tried to act normal. But I don't know how that worked out." She replied.

I laughed.

"You: normal?" I laughed some more. "Seriously, Bee. That isn't you. But I'm glad he invited you, too."

"What do you mean me?" She asked, incredulously. "You guys are coming, too!"

Sheena's mouth dropped open.

"Are you kidding?!" She asked. "So he just randomly invites 4 girls to a party, one of whom dropped an ice cream tub on his foot and 3 of them who he hasn't met at all?!"

"Well...yeah! C'mon Sheen, it'll be so much FUN! That's what we're her for: fun!" Bee grinned. "I can't wait!"

I was speechless and thinking. If Zack was going to be there, what were the chances of Alex being there? Could it be possible that he would be there, too? Well...I was about to find out for sure.

"Well...what time is the party?" I asked

"I think it starts at 7:30 and I've got the directions." Bee replied.

I looked at the clock on the microwave.

"I CALL DIBS ON THE BATHROOM!" I yelled, excitedly.

----------------------------------------------------

Kel's POV

I stared around the spacious house. We were at a house party. Already. On our 2nd night in Baltimore. How did that work out again? Oh yeah. Bee. And meeting Zack. The guy of her dreams. Amazing. But the house looked nice. Real party-like. They definitely didn't have parties like this back home. This was like one of those parties they had in those books Nicole and Bee read. Some random guy had greeted us at the door and thrust a few alcoholic beverages into our hands and told us to come in. I thought he was drunk, which was kind of crazy because the party had kind of just started. It was around 8:30 and people were already jumping off tables and having a good ol' time. I looked around for Nicole, Bee or Sheena having lost all of them about 15 minutes ago. I spotted Bee talking to Zack intently. Good for her. And Sheena was in deep conversation with some cute guy and she looked pretty passionate about it. I looked around for Nicole, instead. I spotted her a few tables away looking glaring at a couple making out on the couch. She kept coughing and with no subtlety kept going “EWH!”

"Yo Foo!" I yelled across the space as I walked closer to where she was. A few people turned at stared at us, but I ignored them.

"Kel, why isn't he here?" She asked me.

"Who?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"ALEX!" She responded desperately.

"He'll show up, eventually. I mean, yeah. He's coming. Bee asked Zack and he told her so."

"Yeah. I should be patient, right?"

"Yes."

Just then I heard a loud crash from the other room. Me and Nicole looked at each other and followed the crowd.

"YO! WHERE'S THE PARTY AT?!" We heard a guy yell.

Nicole's eyes widened.

"OH MY GOSH!" She gripped my arm in a tight grip. "He's here!" Her eyes were wide as saucers.

"Well then, GO!" I shoved her towards where the voice had come from.

I smiled when I thought about that. My best friend deserved him and she deserved to let herself be known to him. I gave her a good luck thumbs-up and a smile. Then I turned around and looked into the most gorgeous pair of blue-green eyes I'd ever seen.

----------------------------------------------------






2nd part

written by Bee

hated by Julie

because she hates all fanfics :)

hahahhahaha

anyways this was edited VERY much by me

[the girl who comes off incredibly desperate and incredibly SPED]

in history and law :)

bee is currently working on PART 3!

-enjoi




[BTW me and Kelly have been friends for a little over 10 years.we were on the bus in Toronto about a year ago,and Kelly was doing the soulja boy dance and kicked some asian girl.possibly one of the funniest moments of my young life.anyway we got on the bus and i was laughing my fucking face off,and Kelly goes "Calm down,fool!" but of course i was laughing to hard to hear "Fool" all i heard was "Foo". so i turned to her and went "I am calm Gabe!" and she asked why i called her Gabe and i said "cuz your wearing the sweater!!" hense Gabe and Foo]



Posted on 09/24/2008 2:23 PM Comments (0)

September 19, 2008

I Know I'll Never Die Alone Because Of All Of You (Part 1)

  Heartbeat racing
The interstate, my home tonight
For one more long night
I'm sure as hell the happiest I've ever been
-Vegas:All Time Low

"ROAD TRIP, ROAD TRIP!" Chanted Nicole. She was so excited! Finally. They were finally going to Baltimore, Maryland.
"Oh my GOD! I can't believe we're finally GOING!"
"Yeah, I know! But buckle up! Seriously. I can't drive until you're all belted." Replied Bee.
"I know, I know. Geez." Nicole said, sullenly, while she put on her seatbelt. "We all know that you're a mother when it comes to driving. I'm wearing it. Geez."
Kelly and Sheena laughed.
"It's not funny, you guys." Bee said. "My parents are finally realizing they can't hold on to my life. I'm all grown up and I'm so out of here. But we have to actually get there in order to have fun, and we're not going anywhere until you guys are belted."
She finally started the car, after everyone was belted.
"Baltimore, here we come." Kelly screamed from her open window.
"YES!" They all yelled in unison.
"Ohmygod! I can't believe we're out from that small place. We're finally going somewhere important. We're going to have so much fun." Sheena said.
"Hellz yeah!" Nicole replied, always ready for a little bit of fun.
They all laughed at her enthusiasm. This was going to be an entertaining and memorable trip. Bee could just feel it in the cool, crisp autumn air.
She leaned her face into the breeze as she turned onto the highway that led to the US-Canada border.
----------------------------------------------------

"SWITCH!" Nicole yelled.
"Oh, thank God. I'm exhausted. This trip is so much longer than we need it to be." Said Bee.
She was considerably more tired than she should be.
"Are you driving or am I?" Sheena asked Nicole.
"You can. I'm not up to it, right now." Replied Nicole.
Kelly was sleeping in the back.
Bee parked in a small parking lot. She got up and stretched her legs. She went into the the small coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate. She was not in the mood for caffiene.
Back in the car, she finally had time to gather her thoughts in her head. Zack Merrick. Baltimore. FINALLY away from home. With her best friends. This was going to be an amazing trip.
She finally dozed off to sleep while listening to her 'All Time Low' playlist on repeat, with a small smile on her face.
----------------------------------------------------

Nicole was too tired to talk. They finally checked into the small motel they'd booked for the trip, courtesy of Bee's terrific bargain-hunting skills.
The trip up here had drained all her energy. But they were in Baltimore and all the energy was returning to her after a power nap. It was 9:00 at night. The night was still young to many other people. But not for her. She wanted to curl up and sleep. How many times had she dreamed about this trip? How many times had she played this out in her head? And she couldn't believe she was finally here. It was so surreal.
Alex Gaskarth was somewhere around here, probably out at someone's house downing alcohol and partying the night away. She smiled at the thought. What she would give to be the girl who was probably flirting with him while he danced. Soon enough. Right now...sleep awaited. And dreams would do for now. But not for long. She was finally going to be able to meet him. This was all she wanted. And this trip, she was going to get it. Everything she wanted.  ----------------------------------------------------

Sheena curled under her cozy sheets. The drive was draining, that was for sure. Holy crap. There was a dull ache in her feet. She was in Baltimore because it was Bee and Nicole's together-birthday gift. Bee's birthday had passed, and Nicole's was coming up and all they wanted was a road-trip to Baltimore. She wasn't going to shatter her best friend's dream. She wanted to get away from home, anyway. She thought about how much Bee loved Zack and Nicole loved Alex. It was incredible how the two could be such fangirls. But the two assured her that it wasn't just a crush. No. They were in love. And heck, since she'd never known how it felt, who was she to judge? She wanted this to be their best birthdays. She was going to find a way to make this trip work. It was going to be great.
----------------------------------------------------

Kelly woke up the first in the morning. It seemed like Nicole, Bee and Sheena were all later risers. Well, not Kelly. She believed in the whole "early bird gets worm" thing. She couldn't believe how they all crashed yesterday. But the trip was fun. At some point, they'd all decided to sing along to 'Vegas' really loudly with the windows rolled down and the boys in the next car had honked and whooped. Nicole was wild and she expected nothing less of her best friend. She was here to meet Alex Gaskarth and Bee was here to meet Zack Merrick. They had all come with a mission. What about her, though? Would she meet someone great here in Baltimore, too? She sure hoped so. But, I'm not going to put too much thought to that part. No. I'm here to have fun.She thought. She was going to make sure she had fun, no matter what her social life turned out like. At the end of this trip, she wanted memories. And that's what she was going to get. She was going to make sure.
----------------------------------------------------




Written by Bee
Posted by Me[Nicole]
Bee wanted me to tell you all that shes not a bug :)
thank you and enjoi
:P

Posted on 09/19/2008 1:43 PM Comments (3)

August 14, 2008

my foots asleep.hurts like a bitch.portuguese techniques cant help me now....

http://alltimelow.buzznet.com/user/video/3439041/alex-gaskarth-jack-barakat-live/
beautiful.
lol sooo todays a good day.
probably cuz im so exhausted and giddy
that everything just seems  really exciting or funny.
its good times with me.
so yesterday a bunch of us went to the mall.
we made a scene in the food court
-sang camp rock/all time low
-did the zimbabawee-HUH! dance circa 2 summers ago.
-taught rocco the zimbabawee-HUH dance circa 2 summers ago.
-saw this old brown drunk guy get taken away by security.
-did the YMCA [cuz why not right]
-encouraged rocco to make a toast to the foot court.
-called this girl "girlfriend" in a high pitched voice all afternoon cuz we didnt kno her name
-charged a bunch of stuff to my moms card :)

all in all good times.
i got home.
sooo tired.
until i broke out the jawbreaker
that sounds so bad sorry :)
and then i was hyper once again.
so texted puj
called agnia.
texted her at 12am wishing her happy birthday
and didnt sleep till 4am
and then i woke up at 6am this morning.
yes people that is 2 hours of sleep.
i went to my moms wrk.
and since her work blocks all the good internet sites i pretty much spent 3 hours hacking into said internet sites.
went to my nanas apartment [she wasnt there thank god]
aka gods waiting room.
but it was errie!like you would not believe
then i like casually flirted with this hot guy from accross the parking lot.
on the way home.
i heard chop suey on the radio by system of a down
and started moshing[in the car,on the highway] to it.
causing many people to stare.
massive head ache afterwards.
i requested we the kings on z103.5
and the guys like "sure juliet,anything for you sweetie"
veryyy odd.
but ill take it :)
we then drove to my school to see when pre-registration was.
only to get home and find out that the school
-delivered a letter to my house saying when pre-registration was
-left a message also stating it.
WERE COOL PEOPLE.

tonight im going to some kids birthday that i dont even know
instead of going to my best friends :)
oh well
were seeing tropic thunder
and nicole likes her some robert downey junior
so what if these kids are only grade 10.
its good times :)

peace out cubscouts :D

currently listening to: madina lake:
From Them, Through Us, To You
                                          the higher: on fire

plus im playing guitar hero in my head
yeah thats right it works :P


Posted on 08/14/2008 10:51 AM Comments (0)

July 1, 2008

today is canada day & this blog has very little to do with that!



so yeah.
kelly is over right now and i am finally winding down from the craziness i exhibited earlier today.
which involved me:
-singing all or nothing by o-town at the top of my lungs
-riding my friends bike down the main intersection[i havnt riddin a bike in 2 years]
-moshing to 7 things by miley cyrus
-going in to pharmaplus under the impression that it would be funny if i made a video of myself [and kelly] usuing nair wax strips.
-persuading kelly to pick up the rim of a toyota wheel and carry it down central
-and manically laughing for 45 mins.
laughing so hard in fact that i fell up the stairs when i wasnt even on the stairs.[i know]
to begin with!

well,i have sorta calmed down from all that craziness.

i cant even imagine me with vast amounts of alcohol in me,
i think i would just collapse because theres no way i could be crazier.
anyways.
we made plans to go to city hall for canada day like a couple of days ago.
and there were supposed to be all these people going
cause illscarlett was going to be there
and we were just gunna chill and be emo.
but last minute everyone like bailed
but me and kel decided to still go
cause ive already planned my clocktower suicide
so why stop now,right?


its 2 mins till 3 right now.
i havent really been able to sleep for the past couple of nights.
ive still been having this crazy insomniac problem
where i wake up every day at 2:14 am.
but i find if i dont go to sleep until 3,that i sleep through the entire night.
since i went to bed around 7am yesteday and woke up around 10 or 11,
im probably running on about 3 or so hours of sleep,
and i think im doing pretty well.
weird sexual dreams again last night
so weird i couldnt even tell my friend who loves listening to my crazy dreams.
kelly doubts its that sexual.
lol.
i guess ive just reached that age.


i had an interesting conversation with K again today.
hes pretty much the only person i can talk to about uber sexual stuff.
we took a poll to see who was hotter and i soo won P:
we also discussed the difference between being a slut[what he thinks i am] and i tease[which i think is much closer to what i am]
we found there isnt much of one.
i think i flirt with K cuz i have no one else to flirt with,and its not like we'll ever date cuz ewww its K!!
its just fun and innocent.


and as long as [younger] A backs off i think we'll be all set.
he is suchhh a flirt
and im like "dudeeee im 2 1/2 years older then you!!!"
iunno what his issue is.
its like i cant even be friends with guys anymore,
they develop deeper feelings for me that i just cant reciprocate.
i mean me and [tennerr] A were like the best of friends.
honestly the laughs we had and the stuff we did was just sooo funny,
then him and [little] K develop this stupid crush and suddenly everythngs awkward.
same with N.
between grades 2-5 he was like my best guy friend.
then his best friend comes up to me and tells me he likes me,
and then everything got so awkward.
i just cant hold on to guy friends.
i mean i understand if theirs like chemistry between 2 people
but if only one person feels it then the friendship is kind of ruined.
right?
unless your me,
i know how to keep feelings hidden.
cuz i know friendships are more important then relationships
sometimes.
its being able to differentiate these instances that really matters,
i make no sense at 3:13am.
although i think i make less sense at every other time of the day.
oh well.


i finally finished the stay awake video,
which feels like a hugggeeeee weight has been lifted off of me
as i procrastinated for 3 weeks while working on this video.
and i always think a video is soo awsome
until i watch it on youtube for the first time,
then i realize its horrible


ive realized that most of my summer
[well the interesting stuff atleast]
happened in the last month.
so now im pretty much screwed.


im sitting here, trying to type as quietly as humanly possible,
but since i have an old ass computer its becomming increasingly difficult.
every time i hear footsteps from upstairs i like jump into bed,pretty much capsizing ontop of kelly every single time.
good news is kelly's finally fallen asleep
so i guess im here all alone.
i wish i could write meaningful stuff,
in these blogs,
but my life just isnt interesting enough,
so i must settle for these slightly inadequate blogs
which jump around from topic to topic.


i think ill attempt sleep now,
although im sure that wont really work out,
because i just have so much energy
right now.
im really hoping this year goes ok.
as last year was sort of a huge disappointment.
although i found out who my true friends were,and who i couldnt trust.


this is getting kind of corny
so ill go.
sleep nice.
peace out cub scouts.


currently listening to: all time low: lullabies
currently spilling my heart out to: you.


btw we got our report cards last week
and i am happy to say

i passed everything except for math.
and i shall be attending the jonas brothers concert this friday in toronto.
come say hi.
oh and i am in summer school for the next 2 wks.
so ill prly be blogging more
and bitching as always.
now my eyes are insanely blood shot,no one is online and ive run out of things to say,
plus my grammer is getting so bad i have to edit everything 4 times.
i must rest my filanjis[lol kel]
Happy Canada Day!


night.




" sing me to sleep,ill see you in my dreams.waiting to say 'i miss you,im so sorry' "-all time low









Posted on 07/01/2008 1:34 AM Comments (0)
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